When we were in San Diego a couple weeks ago we were startled to find ourselves in the middle of a sudden zombie invasion. Hundreds of walking dead began ambling down the crowded sidewalks of 5th Avenue one day as we were heading back to our hotel. It was unsettling and amusing all at once. (For a clip of the footage we took refer to my Comic-Khan post.)
Jason's brother Matt and Matt's friend Tabatha were our zombie compadres. And no, I am not normally that pale though it it's probably debatable whether painting myself various shades of grey made a significant difference in my skin tone.
Upon our return home we were surprised to hear that a similar event would be taking place in Salt Lake City just a couple weeks after the one we witnessed in San Diego. Since we are dorks extraordinaire we couldn’t miss this unique opportunity to get our undead stumble on.
I had never dabbled in latex before so I was pretty proud of my initial attempt with this arm wound. Not too shoddy for a first timer.
Jason’s brother Matt and a couple of his friends joined us, and the roughly 2,000 other zombie walkers, for a mile and a half lurch around downtown Salt Lake City last Sunday. What a fun and crazy activity! This horde of corpses, which overflowed the sidewalks for blocks, closely resembled your worst nightmare. We came across many astonished bystanders whose apparent anxiousness only encouraged chasings by rouge zombies. Being among the army of monsters, in contrast to being on the menu, may seem like it would have been a relatively untroubled experience but it wasn’t as carefree as you might think.
The undead horde was waiting here to be released from Pioneer Park.
First of all, I wasn’t anticipating a little decomposing flesh and some oozing wounds turning me into a celebrity. Disgusting must be “in” because there were cameras everywhere. The vacant sneers of us maggot magnets were always met with flashes and glaring lenses…and sometimes screams. Man, if I had known the paparazzi were going to be swarming I would have worn my more fashionable tattered shirt and styled my rotting hair.
Looks like something you'd see in a post-apocalypse city; a chilling reminder of humanity's violent end.My favorite detail of Matt's costume was his hair accessories: dead leaves adorned his ratty crown. Just what you'd expect to find on the head of someone fresh from the grave.
Secondly, shuffling through post-life may seem like an almost relaxing pursuit, I know we flesh-gnawers make shambling slowly look so easy, but let me assure that dragging one of your limbs behind you in an unnatural fashion and hanging your atrophied arms like limp fish as you stagger over the ground at a maddeningly sluggish pace is anything but comfortable. I’m certain this is why many of the undead gave up on maintaining their swagger as we neared the end of the course. I never relinquished my grotesque authenticity and I had the backache afterward to prove it.
Jason was an eager brain-seeker. He liked to spook those we passed with a lively chase or a menacing groan. The streets of downtown were literally dripping with blood after our masses staggered through.
Besides the clumsiness and awkward notoriety, being a zombie was also frustrating because your terrified quarry often jumped into trees or over fences as easy as nibbling a toe. How are you supposed to get some brains if holding your rigid arms out in a useless fashion is the most offensive move in your arsenal? What’s a poor hungry zombie to do?
Tennis shoes, a race t-shirt, sweatbands, and a Walkman: how ironic that a runner couldn't escape the clutches of a lumbering zombie. Why didn't someone warn me that it's not a good idea to wear headphones when running in traffic or when the world is teeming with the undead?This little girl was freaky with a leash around her waist and a brain in her mouth.
So before you start feeling sorry for yourself, and all of those other tasty humans, consider the zombies’ plight. If you tried hobbling a mile and a half in their putrid shoes you might have a little sympathy for those ghouls. After all, most of them probably have a permanently kinked neck and a rumbly tummy. No wonder they’re grouchy; we all know how low blood sugar can affect your outlook on life.
I think most of us understand the role of fiber in keeping our visits to the bathroom regular but many of us seem to overlook the other numerous wonders of this fabulous filler. A recent survey sponsored by Kellogg’s revealed that Americans hold incredibly incorrect opinions about the sources and benefits of fiber. I am mystified as to where people are getting this really, really wrong information. That’s why I felt compelled to write this post and add my own extremely accurate facts to the mix.
Over 90% of Americans don’t get the amount of fiber in their diets recommended by the USDA. We aren’t eating enough fruits, veggies, legumes, and whole grains. Instead, most people seem to be chowing more than their share of snack foods, simple carbohydrates, and meat. But, according to the Kellogg’s survey, some citizens are under the erroneous impression that hidden somewhere within the greasy depths of their Big Mac is a heap of fiber. Twenty percent of those questioned replied that they thought meats, seafood, and dairy products were good sources of fiber. Talk about wishful thinking! Ten percent of responders even voiced the opinion that water is a good source of fiber. What the what? Before I talk about the benefits of fiber it would appear that I need to take a step back and review some fiber basics.
Fiber only comes from plants, not meat or water. It’s mostly made up of carbohydrates but, unlike other carbs, these babies are not digestible by the human body. (Bacteria in the large intestine, however, do like to nibble on certain kinds of fiber a bit.)
There are two types of fiber: soluble and insoluble. Soluble fiber is essentially the glue that holds plants cells together. Good sources of soluble fiber include: fruit, oats, kidney beans, and barley. Soluble fiber swells or dissolves in water. It attracts water to your intestines and keeps it there. You can probably guess how your bowels benefit from that attribute.
Insoluble fiber forms the outer covering of grains and the structural parts of plants. It does not dissolve in water. Lignin, the stuff that makes pear flesh grainy, is an example of an insoluble fiber. Good sources of insoluble fiber include: broccoli, brown rice, and wheat bran. Insoluble fiber decreases intestinal transit time; it speeds foodstuffs through our systems from one end to the other.
Most people get that fiber can relieve constipation but they don’t seem to understand that it benefits your body far beyond the potty. Fifteen percent of those polled by Kellogg’s thought that they only needed fiber in their diets when they were experiencing irregularity. Hmm? I don’t know where they heard that but it certainly wasn’t from a reliable scientific source.
Studies have suggested that diets high in fiber can reduce the risk of all the big hitters from colon cancer to diabetes. One of these many studies found that men eating 25 g of fiber daily had a 36% lower risk of developing heart disease and those eating 29 g of fiber had a 41% less chance of having a heart attack. Another clinical concluded that women consuming mainly low-fiber carbohydrates were 2.5 times more likely to develop diabetes than those with a high-fiber diet. Further research found that men with type 2 diabetes showed significant improvement of blood glucose and lipid levels when given psyllium (a fiber) twice a day. The risk of colorectal cancer also appears to be decreased by an elevated fiber intake. Several studies have established that societies with a high-fiber consumption have a 30% lower rate of colorectal cancer. Looking to lose weight? Sure, fiber can help with that too. Research has shown that those with low-fiber diets gain 8 pounds more on average over a ten year period than their fiber eating counterparts. I could keep raving about the pros of fiber but I think I need to go chew on some bark now or something.
Ask not what fiber can do for you but what you can do for fiber. Scratch that. Just think about what fiber can do for you.
So how does fiber aid so many of our bodily systems? It’s sort of a mystery to be honest; fiber is full of more surprises than Houdini. Although fiber’s mechanisms of action are not totally understood we do know a few things:
When you eat a meal that contains a lot of fiber, that fiber adds bulk without adding much in the way of calories so you feel fuller and eat less. Additionally, since fiber slows the uptake of glucose and reduces the release of insulin, a high-fiber meal will spike your blood sugar levels more moderately and strain your pancreas less.
There are several theories on why fiber decreases the risk of cancer. Some think it’s because carcinogens (cancer promoting agents) are in contact with the intestinal wall for less time when fiber zooms things through our digestive tract so they have less of an effect on our cells. Others believe that carcinogens become bound to fiber in our guts preventing them from reacting with our bodies. Additional theories involve the acids contained in dietary fiber inducing cancer cell death. In the end the reason isn’t terribly important but the result, improving your chances of avoiding one of the top two lethal cancers, certainly is.
Based off current scientific data and government suggestions the average American should be consuming about 25 g of fiber a day. Are you thinking to yourself right now that you definitely get that much fiber between your daily doses of Ho Hos and potato chips? According to Kellogg’s about 80% of Americans think they are getting at least this amount of fiber in their diets but in reality only about 10% are. Are you one of those blessed 10%? Statistically speaking it’s not likely.
How can you increase the amount of fiber in your diet so you will no longer have to be the president of the Preparation H fan club? Well, about 20 years ago nutritional labeling became a requirement for processed foods but most of us apparently are still not taking advantage of this readily accessible information. Dietary Fiber content is mandatorily listed on almost all food labels; it’s easy to spot right there. Now that you know where to look for fiber totals how much should you be looking for? According to the FDA, a food with at least 3 grams of dietary fiber per serving is considered a good source of fiber and a food with 5 grams or more is an excellent source of fiber. So look for whole grain options, eat a salad, and review your food labels. Foods are a much better source of fiber than supplements, since they also contain other goodies such as antioxidants and phtyonutrients, but, if all else fails, there is always Metamucil. Considering the state your colon is most likely in, you could probably use some.
To get the full scoop on the Kellogg’s survey visit: http://kelloggs.mediaroom.com/index.php?s=43&item=327
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