I have been a Trekkie, or a Trekker if you want to be politically correct, since adolescence. My teenage heartthrob was Mr. Data. Need I say more? My brother-in-law, Ryan, is perhaps an even more despicable fan. You know, the type whose basement is packed with impenetrable airtight/waterproof containers full of model ships, autographed plaques, and unopened communicator collectibles. So naturally when Star Trek Scene It? came out an epic battle between me and Ryan to determine Trek supremacy was imminent, as imminent as a warp core breach after an antimatter containment failure. That historic skirmish happened on stardate 65599.2 AKA last Saturday.

Ryan and I each prepped for our cosmic competition by watching a great deal of Trek. The Star Trek franchise is a galactic behemoth. Between all the various series there are over 600 episodes and 500 hours of television. Since we’re not Peggy Bundy, and don’t have unlimited vegging time, our “research” had to be selective. I have been slowly re-watching The Next Generation, my favorite Trek, since Jason bought me the box set a year ago and a few months back I started supplementally tackling a mix of Voyager, Enterprise, and The Original Series. Ryan decided to concentrate his efforts on The Next Generation and Enterprise before our big showdown. He completed viewing both in their entirety. Not that it did him any good. Wahaha!

Finally, the chosen day came and our battle was afoot. The difficulty of the game’s questions varied considerably from super easy to nearly impossible. Although each of us had a couple teammates, teammates that proved more useful than those red-shirted security fellows, it was really Rachel vs. Ryan for the most part. With a little luck, and some super amazing memory recall skills, team Rachel warped ahead at first. Eventually Ryan got his dilithium crystals aligned properly and he sped up to nearly take the victory. But in the end he just couldn’t make her go any faster. He basically choked on his last couple questions. One involved some simple Enterprise trivia and the other an Original Series query about the Botany Bay. I guess some people just can’t handle the pressure of command. Fortunately, I was able to quickly identify the Botany Bay for the win before Ryan could regroup his forces.

I know Ryan considers himself a venerable vault of Trekkie trivia so I’m sure this defeat will haunt him and fill him with the deepest shame for many years to come…or until we have a rematch. He made a good effort but you just can’t win them all, especially if your opponent is me or Q.