Christmas is accompanied by a certain level of decorum and pomp for most but, for us, it comes with tackiness and hair.

Our Christmas party is a December tradition that went from formal and fancy to ridiculous and irreverent many years ago. Never heard of it? We keep the invitee list slim so we can actually talk to our guests, a refreshing change after our Halloween largeness. There have been almost no new additions to that list for over a decade so our attendees are pretty much the people that have known us since our rollerblades and overalls days.

This event has some holiday standards mixed with a few seasonal abnormals. Gaggy gifts, tinselly sweaters, tasteless fake fur, tasteful food, massive moustaches, ping-pong showdowns, awkward dance competitions, absurd photos, and close encounters of the Rowley kind are all part of the routine.

This year we ordered food from Corner Bakery Café. The spinach salad, pesto cavatappi, hummus and veggies, bruschetta with parmesan toast, and sweets basket probably made for our favorite catering in years.

I took pictures of any of the assembled crew that wanted them for over an hour and a half at the affair. Sadly, this took more time away from busting my sweet Just Dance 2017 moves than expected but some of the resulting images are priceless… revolting, but priceless.

The white elephant gifts were much the same as they always have been… good, bad, even worse. Man-scented candles, fry pillows, and pooping-dog calendars were just a few of the finer things that could have been mine. (Incidentally, I just got good hot chocolate and I was just fine with that.)

Thanks loyal Christmas partiers! It’s cool to celebrate the holidays every year with a lowkey gathering where the same small group of buddies wear what they shouldn’t and shake what they definitely shouldn’t- from hind ends to hidden gifts.