It’s a Small House After All

This year, Jason and I planned our 20th Halloween party together. After two decades, even unexpected blasts couldn’t undermine our eternal rest. Here’s how we made our crypt doors extra creaky.

a boney brunch
Make no bones about it, tea and titters go together like the tibia and fibula.

Our theme this time was Disney’s Haunted Mansion, which is celebrating its 50th anniversary in Disneyland this year. The décor, crafts, and party favors were all geared toward this morbid motif. Even our catering, San Diablo Churros, was a nod to the ride. There is, after all, a churro stand right outside the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland.

hitchhiking haunts
Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home.

As usual, our preparations for this event started early in the fall. We began working on our 81-item to-do list sometime in August. A portion of our prizes, decorations, and costume accessories arrived by mail. In total, we received 54 packages filled with party supplies. You’re welcome UPS.

phantom favors
The hotchpotch of party favors this year included jewelry, books, plants, candles, and chocolate-filled coffins.

As with any large event, our party is always accompanied by unforeseen complications that have to be handled at the last minute. This year, they came in a bluster. We bought a 10×15 tent to house the catering and provide extra room for our guests. We rented space heaters to keep this area cozy and borrowed tables to make it perfect for chowing. But our tent endeavors were ill-fated. The wind picked up to 24 MPH with gusts over 36 MPH just hours before our party commenced. No canvas was holding that at bay. We had to disassemble the tent about an hour before the party and move San Diablo Churros into our already crowded kitchen. The graveyard Jason had cleverly constructed in the backyard didn’t get appreciated due to those gusts… or stay entirely upright.

It's a spine-chilling world.
What ride is this?

Since the weather impeded most attendees from venturing into our yard, the body count inside our house exceeded any previous year by a dozen or two. Although not quite 999 happy haunts, somehow we fit over 100 humans in our home. I wouldn’t say there was room for one more though.

Sabin Manor
Welcome, foolish mortals.
flickers and hitchhikers
We added touches to our decor from the ride like stretching pictures, hitchhiking ghosts, and lots of candles.

It was my turn to choose our costumes this year. I decided to go with something theme-related, and Jason and I came as the Dutch boy and girl from the It’s a Small World ride. Our costumes were a little heavy on both ends. My wig incorporated nearly a full pound of yarn, and our clunky wooden shoes felt as solid as tree trunks. We were committed to our costumes though, so we wore those shoes all night. Incidentally, I would not recommend hosting a party stretched over two entire floors of a house while wearing wooden clogs. My right foot was swollen on top for days despite my makeshift fabric wraps, and two of my toes are still healing from the arboreal rubbing they received. At least our cheery costumes provided colorful contrast to the stark monochromatic motif. Jason even convinced forty or fifty of our attendees to sing “It’s a Small World” to me. Maybe because it’s a world of laughter.

an underappreciated plot
Jason’s graveyard got gusts not guests.

There were five craft options this year including portrait chamber bookmarks, ghostly couture bracelets and earrings, and spiderweb wreaths. Thankfully, craft ideas befitting our theme were rather scarce, which saved me from an insufferable but irresistible craft overload.

flight of fright
The interior of coffins inspired this flight.

The party favors required less assembly this year, but buying and putting over 90 of them together still felt like it might take me until the afterlife. Did they all hitchhike to new homes? All but one of the kid bags were taken, but about 20 adult/teenager favors remained. Why so many extras? I had no idea which options would be most popular, so I filled a few supplemental coffins.

chocolate-coated grins
Big smiles and chocolate-smeared faces are common apparitions at our bash.

We had more help this year than ever. What a difference it made! With four decorating sessions and two undecorating ones, putting up and putting away everything was much more manageable and fun. Plus, an adult volunteered for kitchen duty during the event and several helped tidy up the sticky scourge afterward. To all our helpers, thank you! Your assistance not only sped up the process tremendously but bolstered our expired spirits.

coffins and creepies
Delightfully unlivable?

Despite the meddling wind, our party was a swinging wake after all. The Haunted Mansion can accommodate 2,100 guests per hour. Our mansion, apparently, can accommodate 100 guests per evening. That’s more than we thought. And the smell of churros lingered long after the stickiness subsided. I guess that’s about as much as you can hope for with any hosting undertaking.

A Tale of Two Eras

The Jane Austen Society of North America (JASNA) is the largest literary group devoted to Jane Austen in the world with over 5,000 members. You didn’t know Janeites are nearly as common as Beliebers did you? Over 850 of those Janeites assembled in Williamsburg, Virginia, this year for JASNA’s sold-out annual meeting. We were among them. Jane Austen history and colonial history? That was an easy sell.

Colonial Williamsburg, for those not familiar with it, is a living-history museum. It covers over 300 acres and includes more than 88 original 18th-century structures along with hundreds of replicas. There, craftspeople practice trades like brickmaking, blacksmithing, gunsmithing, tailoring, and wigmaking- working history to life. If that sounds like a lot to experience in a week or even a month, you are quite perceptive.

Christiana Campbell's Tavern
The taverns in Williamsburg add a delectable element to history. This particular one was George Washington’s favorite.

Williamsburg was a bit overwhelming in other ways. We left Salt Lake City at 56 degrees and arrived in Williamsburg at 96 degrees, a record high for October. Even July typically isn’t that hot in Williamsburg. Standard complaints aside, beyond the stifling plane ride we took from Atlanta to Norfolk, I didn’t think the heat was that bad. The next day’s 92 degrees and nearly 100% humidity also felt less than horrible. Our palms got sweaty instantly whenever we walked outside, but that was the only indication of the sticky temperatures bombarding us. After visiting Las Vegas in the middle of summer and Los Angeles during a 117-degree heatwave, Virginia’s steamy tantrum didn’t impress.

Capitol
The Capitol held Virginia’s House of Burgesses from 1705 to 1779 and burned down twice.

Between JASNA activities and Colonial Williamsburg sights, our days were packed. Splitting our time between the two was a little tricky. The first day, we learned some new steps at an English country dance class and then ate dinner at Josiah Chowning’s Tavern. Next, we visited with President Thomas Jefferson for an hour and went on a Lantern Trade Tour to see the shops of printers, bookbinders, silversmiths, and milliners. Just typing that long stream of happenings makes me tired.

forging history
Like the other tradespeople in Colonial Williamsburg, the blacksmiths are real artisans not props.

The subsequent day started with a series of JASNA presentations. We attended a keynote lecture featuring Jocelyn Harris and learned about The Gothic Key to Northanger Abbey. Fascinating, right? We ate dinner at Christiana Campbell’s Tavern with a group of our vintage friends to the accompaniment of a Baroque guitar. Later that evening, we made it to a glass armonica concert featuring Dean Shostak. Dean Shostak is one of only five people in the world that know how to play the glass armonica. Never heard of the glass armonica? Benjamin Franklin invented it in 1761 out of a bunch of glass bowls. It became so popular composers like Mozart wrote pieces specifically for it. Eventually, it fell out of favor in the first decades of the 1800s, which may be why you have no idea what I’m talking about. We followed all of this with Cry Witch, a reenactment of a witch trial that took place in Virginia in the early 1700s. We got to vote on the verdict, and I chose guilty. After all, a bad dream seems like perfectly sound evidence of witchcraft.

a desirable deviation
Most of the JASNA attendees were women over the age of 50. Jason was an alluring outlier.

Our third day, we wandered around Colonial Williamsburg, attended a few lectures, and danced for hours at a ball. You know, the same thing everyone does on Wednesdays.

After listening to one more lecture on Jane Austen and the Reformation the next morning, we headed back into Colonial Williamsburg to get a tour of the Capitol, Governor’s Palace, Raleigh Tavern, and numerous other structures. We ate dinner at the King’s Arms Tavern by candlelight. It was quite tasty. As I always say, the best kind of history is the sort you can eat.

fiery escorts
Hundreds of JASNA attendees promenaded around Colonial Williamsburg led by two torchbearers.

We finished off the evening with a ghost tour that retold some not-so-fact-based spectral legends like Lady Skipwith, Lucy Ludwell, and the hauntings at the Peyton Randolph House. However, we discovered one tale regarding George Wythe to be mostly true after a little post-tour research. George Wythe, signer of the Declaration of Independence and mentor to Thomas Jefferson, was probably poisoned by a nephew hoping to quicken his inheritance, though that was never irrefutably proven. I guess some tall tales are surprisingly short. The ghost tour was mostly lighthearted and fun with crackling leaves and a fall breeze adding their ambiance embellishments. Those additions made the outing feel like a scene from Hocus Pocus.

Governor's Palace
The Governor’s Palace is a recreation of a building used by both royal and post-colonial governors, including Thomas Jefferson.

Our last day in Virginia, we thought about going to Yorktown or Jamestown but reconsidered since there was still much we hadn’t seen in Williamsburg. At the Courthouse, we attended a mock court case. We returned to the Peyton Randolph House for a tour, which was only marginally eerie during the day. We visited the Magazine, George Wythe House, and Wetherburn’s Tavern. And no, we didn’t encounter any irritated orbs complaining about arsenic off-notes in the strawberries at the George Wythe House.

blasts from the past
Cannons like these were used in the Revolutionary War.

Out of all of those activities and sights, which were our favorites? While all were enthralling, we especially enjoyed Cry Witch, the JASNA ball, and our tavern meals. Need I repeat myself about the best sort of history being the kind you can eat?

taking Regency on the road
Filling your suitcase with Regency attire takes commitment and Tetris skills.

Williamsburg and JASNA were a perfect combination, except for the too-much-to-see-and-do part. My advice to those visiting Williamsburg? Wear comfortable shoes, focus on a few highlights at a time, slow down to eat some seafood at George’s favorite joint, and get a little nerdy with the history geeks.

Stars and Strawberries

Ready to have a heart attack? Jason and I attended FanX in Salt Lake City this fall. Anyone need a defibrillator? Maybe a hypospray of vasopressors for the shock? No? Was FanX nerdy? Yes. Was it nutty? Yes. Here’s how it fanned out.

some lost boys
Notwithstanding many of the characters he’s played, Kiefer Sutherland was incredibly nice and personable.
Pearl Mackie
Pearl Mackie was easy to relate to and amusing.

The two of us got pictures with Megan Follows, Pearl Mackie, Matthew Lewis, and lost boys Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric. From the likes of Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Jason Isaacs, and Charles Martinet we acquired autographs. We attended panels featuring the rowdy characters of Evermore and approachable stars like Pearl Mackie and Matthew Lewis. We found the celebrities we interacted with this time to be real human beings, even the ones who regularly portray aliens.

So many buttons!
Nerdiness need not be fictional. It was cool to climb into a real cockpit.
Matthew Lewis
Matthew Lewis was endearingly humble despite the multitude of girls drooling over him.

We embraced cosplay on two of the con’s days. On one of those we dressed as Strawberry Shortcake and the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak. Those that recognized us, and there were more than we anticipated, were treated to one of the Peculiar Purple Pieman’s pastries… well, Hostess’ really, but that shady pieman was happy to take crust credit.

Charles Martinet
It’s a Mario!

We met up with friends who were also attending at J. Wong’s Thai and Chinese Bistro. Eating drunken noodles and discussing which comic artists billow capes correctly all while donning an Auror’s wand and wig- that’s the stuff the finest temporal causality loops are made of.

These are the droids you are looking for.
FanX always has surprises rolling around every corridor.

Tickets for next fall’s FanX just went on sale. It’s sure to tickle your ear lobes. You may find us there along with over 100,000 other caped crusaders and masked troopers.