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Yuletide with Yahoos

Jason and I have been throwing a Christmas party every December for nearly two decades. While we keep this event small because our sanity is only marginal after our Halloween bash, that doesn’t mean it is a calm and dignified affair. This year, it proceeded in a “regular” fashion, meaning all kinds of rowdy. Allow me to share a few of the highlights:

Our meal consisted of barbecued meats and sides from R&R (my favorite place to get brisket), a massive salad from Café Zupas, and a selection of sweets from Corner Bakery Café.

Cameron didn't just wear an ugly sweater to our party, he wore an ugly women's sweater.
Cameron didn’t just wear an ugly sweater to our party, he wore an ugly women’s sweater.

I again took humorous, and purposefully cheesy, holiday pictures of all attendees that wanted them. This time, however, I limited the shooting to just half an hour, so I could still dance and prance with the rest of the ungainly reindeer. You’d be amazed how many horrible pictures you can take in 30 minutes.

Jason and I prefer ugly sweaters with nerdy flair.
Jason and I prefer ugly sweaters with nerdy flair.

Rowley removed his tawdry reindeer onesie to reveal another kind of hoofed monstrosity, a reindeer mankini. (Thankfully, that wasn’t quite all he was wearing.) You will just have to imagine, or try not to imagine, this outfit. I didn’t want to be responsible for any PTSD, so pictures of this particular ensemble have been omitted here.

Just Dance is outlandish enough to mesh nicely with our party's vibe.
Just Dance is outlandish enough to mesh nicely with our party’s vibe.

The white elephant gifts ranged from hugely-sized Rice Krispies treats to fat “dad” bags. White elephants sure are unpredictable creatures.

In taking pictures of the partiers, I didn't hold back on the seasonal cheese- as the indoor snowflakes attest.
In taking pictures of the partiers, I didn’t hold back on the seasonal cheese- as the indoor snowflakes attest.

Half the partiers stayed until the bitter end playing Codenames. So, we had plenty of help carting crap out to our car in a hurriedly fashion a few minutes before midnight.

The white elephant exchange is the only element of our party that we've never changed.
The white elephant exchange is the only element of our party that we’ve never changed.

As anticipated, our Christmas gathering was a rather irreverent but relaxed affair. Between ugly sweaters, even uglier moustaches, and truly hideous mankinis, its foulness lightheartedly touched the holidays just right. Thanks friends for joining us yet again for this comical Christmas tradition.

Rachel March 9, 2018 3 Comments

The Rundown on the Runs Down

With a lackluster season of snowboarding upon us, let us remember the greatness that has come before.

The first part of last season was excellent, but Jason and I didn’t make it to the slopes until the end of January due to a family misfortune. It was cold during our initial mountain pilgrimage, really cold. With 30 inches of snow overnight and an additional three feet in the three days prior, it was worth it even though our toes became unresponsive.

This particular powder field is a favorite of mine.
This particular powder field is a favorite of mine.

We visited Brighton again on a mid-February Saturday. The drive took an extra hour due to the traffic turning into and going through the canyon. We got one of the last parking spots at the resort even though we left our house before 8:00 AM. Just stay home people, and leave the powder to me! I whine, but 16 inches of fresh fluff made it all okeydokey.

This is how one should not ride powder. Note that my weight is evenly distributed, and I am not moving (AKA stuck).
This is how one should not ride powder. Note that my weight is evenly distributed, and I am not moving (AKA stuck).
This is how one should ride powder. Note that my weight is on my back foot, and I am actually moving.
This is how one should ride powder. Note that my weight is on my back foot, and I am actually moving.

A couple of weeks later, we carved the hillsides on a Friday. The base depth at Brighton was over 130 inches. A storm had dropped eight inches overnight, 14 inches in the last 24 hours, 29 inches in the last 48 hours, and 43 inches in the last 72 hours. Obviously, the slopes were awesome, and the roads were horrible. Eager resort seekers were ignoring the “chains or 4×4 required” sign at the entrance to Big Cottonwood Canyon; it took us two and a half hours to get to Brighton because of sliding vehicles. The canyon closed about 15 minutes after we arrived at the resort due to a six-car pileup. So, there were no crowds all morning long, and we were free to frolic as powder pigs. It wasn’t warm, the temperatures lingered between about 10 and 20 degrees, but who needs toes with feeling when there is almost four feet of fresh pow-pow? Not this girl.

Photographic evidence suggests that I ride powder with an ape-like stance.
Photographic evidence suggests that I ride powder with an ape-like stance.

On a Wednesday in mid-March, we enjoyed some record-breaking warmth at Brighton instead of numbed extremities. It reached 57 degrees by the afternoon. While the weather was amazing, the snow wasn’t so much. The slopes started out icy and then got slushy in the lower regions while remaining a little hard at the top. The pack was slick stuff, whatever its state; we completed runs in about six minutes. Overall, a pleasant day with a pleasant boy.

My boarding buddy is the best!
My boarding buddy is the best!

We visited Brighton again on its closing weekend. With 120 inches of snow, the resort was throwing in its seasonal towel. Crazy! There weren’t a lot of people on the mountain, probably because spring was flinging. The temperatures stayed in the 30s and 40s, but it was super windy. Gusts averaged around 20 MPH and exceeded 35 MPH. These blasts made it difficult to stay on target and upright. On an unrelated note, the underside of my nose got sunburned from UV bouncing off the snow. I didn’t think to put sunscreen there. Who would? For weeks, it looked like I had persistent crusty boogers. Awkward.

That’s how the season went for us last year. It may be a far cry from the piddling flecks we’ve gotten this season, but may the fond memories of flakes received sustain us until those sacred shavings descend upon us again. Amen.

Rachel March 1, 2018 No Comments

An Evening of Evil

Death is a man’s job? I don’t think so. There’s a reason why women live longer than men- me. I’m the Grim Reaper. I have been collecting souls since the inception of humankind. You all thought I was a man, right? Typical.

I have been a member of the Evil League of Evil for over a hundred years, the only original member still ticking. (Being the bringer of death does come with a few perks.)

A sight for dead eyes?
A sight for dead eyes?

At the League’s annual convention this year, the body of one of our own was discovered. While the departing dead are all in a day’s work for me, murder amongst members goes against league codes. Hence, rowdy accusations and seedy discoveries commenced. The heinous was made hilarious, and, eventually, the mystery was solved to everyone’s satisfaction.

My fellow league members may be evil, but I am death.
My fellow league members may be evil, but I am death.

I won the award for best female costume and received an honorable mention for best female acting. If dressing drably and being crabby makes you eligible for a prize, I should have won something really prestigious back in the Dark Ages.

Thanks Renae and Nathan for hosting a witty and wicked thriller!

Rachel February 23, 2018 No Comments
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