Although our stay in Zion was meant to break up the drive to Joshua Tree, it didn’t break it up enough. Please tell me we are there!

Jason and I arrived at our rented home in the town of Joshua Tree after dark, so we had no idea what the terrain surrounding us looked like. The next morning, I woke up just after sunrise astonished by the bouldered landscape and the four coyotes wandering in the backyard. It was a magical preamble to the next segment of our trip.

The weather that first day was 65 degrees and perfect for squishing in three hikes. Joined by some welcomed relatives, we did the Hidden Valley and Barker Dam Loops, a sum of 2.3 miles. We also wandered out to the Wall Street Mill, which added another 2.2 miles to our daily trekking total.

Even after reading an entire book about Joshua Tree, Jason and I were still surprised by the quantity, height, and shape of its numerous granite piles. However, the park’s jumbled geology is just one facet of its fascinating past; its human story is also warped and riveting. For instance, Hidden Valley, peaceful and stunning, was once used by notorious cattle thieves to hide their nabbed steers. And the Wall Street Mill? While the mill is on the National Registry of Historic Places due to its historic significance, it isn’t the only significant thing one comes across in its vicinity. Along its route, you pass several rusty antique vehicles. Then, you skirt a blushing, crumbling building called the Ohlson House or Wonderland Ranch. Incidentally, no one knows why this home was built at this location or why the constructors abandoned it. Minutes later, you encounter a marker erected by Bill Keys, the owner of the Wall Street Mill, at the spot where he shot Worth Bagley. This marker states, “Here is where Worth Bagly bit the dust at the hand of W. F. Keys, May 11, 1943.” Curiously, Bill Keys himself created this memento promptly after he was released from jail for killing Worth Bagley. Yes, Joshua Tree’s history is full of gun fights, cattle robberies, mine disputes (which often led to gun fights), and old-fashioned mob manhunts. Its past is about as wild as the Wild West got.

The next morning, we were keen on conquering Ryan Mountain before a blustery storm brought gusts between 20-40 mph, and the daily crowds also gusted. Since Ryan Mountain is one of the most popular hikes in Joshua Tree, we started climbing at 8:30 in hopes of achieving both maximum wind and people reduction… and getting a parking spot. We saw few people during our ascent, less than we were expecting. The gods of hiking a well-liked mountain without encountering a horde were certainly with us.

With the predicted blasts considered, we decided to spend the rest of the day driving and stopping rather than hiking and whooshing. Those forecasted breezes never manifested, for the second time on our trip, but our drive was worthwhile regardless. Skull Rock, a stone that looks much like a skull from certain angles, was our first stop. Although Skull Rock was cool, the mess of disorderly boulders surrounding it were more interesting.

After Skull Rock, we continued to the Cholla Cactus Garden, a sharp patch of misshapen plants growing densely in a mysterious pocket. These cacti proved more intriguing than anticipated, making this my favorite picture spot of the whole trip.

Our last day in Joshua Tree, we hiked the Maze Trail, a 4.7-mile loop through bulky stones, sandy washes, and unusual flora… aka typical Joshua Tree terrain. This trail offers a variety of routes via adjoining loops. We just did the basic; it didn’t feel basic.

It should be mentioned that hiking in Joshua Tree is more like walking. If you like the visuals attained through hiking but not the work involved, Joshua Tree may be your kind of place. With the exception of Ryan Mountain, all the treks we did were nearly flat. Unless you count the boulder pile we scrambled up just because- piles aren’t flat. Yes, we decided to climb the mountain of colossal rocks stacked behind the home we rented. Ascending those stones proved exciting and slightly unnerving. There wasn’t the potential of death in route, but a maiming seemed possible. We moved carefully though and only had one falling-into-a-cactus incident.

The morning of our departure, we awoke to two or three inches of snow. Barbed cacti covered in fluffy blankets were an uncanny sight. These plants could visibly be seen swelling as they sucked up the available moisture.

Just as it had begun, our time in Joshua Tree ended with a magical morning. Our getaway perfectly counteracted the blues generated by chilly air and a spreading plague. How could a warm retreat to a resilient environment full of misshapen grace provide anything less?

On a side note, the town of Joshua Tree is small and a bit odd. I couldn’t quite get a sense of its flavor, but I tasted as much of it as I could. We sampled foods from Boo’s Organic Oven, Crossroads Café, Natural Sisters Café, Sam’s Indian Food & Pizza, and Pie for the People! These were all excellent.

We visited Moab last fall after being absent from its vermillion curves for a year. I’m sorry Moab! We still love you. I hate to offer excuses, but there’s been this whole COVID thing…

This trip was all about showing off some of Moab’s standards to my sister’s family, none of whom had been to Moab before. Amazing newcomers in Moab is as simple as walking them outside, so Jason and I can’t take much credit for our inevitable impress success.

With the world warming up, November didn’t feel like November in Moab. The only giveaway of the season was the lack of light. How are you supposed to see everything you want to with a 5:30 cutoff? Come on Mother Nature, let’s be reasonable.

We spent our first day in Arches National Park. After completing the hike to Delicate Arch, a Moab essential, we covered about three miles in the Devils Garden to see Landscape, Navajo, Tunnel, Pine Tree, and Partition Arch. We navigated most of our return route in darkness, including a tricky fin. Despite our vision deficiency, the adventure was well received by our juvenile companions.

Some of the kids requested a ramble on the Fisher Towers Trail, a wish we happily accommodated the next day. The Fisher Towers are a collection of channeled sandstone spires frosted by layers of burgundy mud. The largest of these, The Titan, is believed to be the tallest free-standing natural tower in the United States at 900 feet. Those pillars aren’t the only fascinating rock formations along this 4.5-mile route though. Bulbous hoodoos seem to mushroom out of the sand, and the final viewpoint overlooks a valley inhabited by a jumble of warped stone figures. Although the weather was more pleasant than we had a right to expect, the wind began accelerating in a chaotic manner near the end of our journey. Outbursts sent fistfuls of dirt into our faces and down our shirts. Our ears and pockets were full of grit by the time we reached the trailhead.

The following day, we visited Moab Giants, a fun dinosaur park and museum near town. Moab Giants focuses on the ancient creatures who once roamed the area with an emphasis on their tracks. On Moab Giant’s Dinosaur Trail, over 100 full-sized replicas can be viewed along with footprint information. The educational and photographical opportunities are plentiful, and we enjoyed both equally.

Before heading home, we detoured to the Island in the Sky portion of Canyonlands National Park. Between the relentless wind and 45 degrees, Canyonlands was barely tolerable with abundant jackets. Yup, just like that, late fall was back. We hiked to Mesa Arch, a trail short enough to be doable in the cold, and stopped at overlooks of Shafer Canyon and the Grand View Point.

Although we hiked about 12 miles during our stay, fitness did not follow. The food available in Moab makes the exercise attained inconsequential. Between South African fare from Hidden Cuisine, drunken noodles from Thai Bella, donuts from Doughbird, breakfast delights from Love Muffin, and quesadillas from the Quesadilla Mobilla, we were well fed. We’ll just leave it at that.

How did our young cohorts do with all this adventuring? It took our group much longer to finish each undertaking than expected, but our sluggish spirits remained exuberant. If something takes twice as long, it means you enjoyed it twice as much, right? How did Moab do? It seemed more crowded than normal for November. Maybe others have discovered my November trick. (Dang it!) Or maybe COVID has altered vacation habits.

Moab, I swear I’ll not stay away so long again… unless another pandemic hits, and I have to survive on pickles and pecans while only communicating with the outside world through toilet paper signals. I guarantee nothing in that case. After all, I wouldn’t want to make any two-ply promises.