From Scandinavia to the Nethers Part I: Copenhagen

A few years ago, Jason and I decided we wanted to take both sets of our parents on trips of their choosing as a small way of saying thanks for the decades they tolerated being responsible for us. Like Jason’s parents, mine had sandy beaches and islands in mind but not of the tropical variety.

The kingdom of Denmark, the southern-most Scandinavian country, is comprised of over 1,400 islands circling a slender peninsula. This was my parents’ pick. With over 75 of Denmark’s islands inhabited, narrowing down landmasses from their country selection wasn’t easy. Since our flights stopped in Amsterdam both directions, we thought we might as well also add on a few days in that notable city, despite the excess location options available in Denmark alone. We invited my entire extended family to join us on this voyage of gratitude, and my sister and her daughter accepted that offer. The group traveled to some of Denmark’s most prominent and rugged places and got a taste of the Netherlands. Here’s the first of my four-part series on our journey and its discoveries.

always prepared
There are 78 inhabited islands in Denmark, so I took choosing our route and sites seriously.

A Word on Chaos

Most vacations include bits of unexpected chaos. This trip was upfront about its pandemonium. Getting to Copenhagen required two flights, one to Amsterdam (as previously mentioned) and a second from Amsterdam to Copenhagen. At the time, Amsterdam’s airport, Schiphol, was experiencing an untimely mix of bad weather, labor shortages, resigning managers, low wages for security personnel, and peak weekend travel, which resulted in our inbound flight being delayed by almost five hours. This made us miss our connection to Copenhagen, so we had to find another flight. That ultimately resulted in us having to leave the secure section of the airport to pick up our bags and come back in via a security line over a mile long that took more than 2.5 hours to wind through. Probably not coincidentally, our flight out of Amsterdam was also delayed about an hour. At least our six-hour layover at Schiphol passed quickly since we spent the bulk of it in that line.

Once in Copenhagen, the bewildering chaos ended, and the regular travel mayhem began. On the plus side, our late arrival helped us get over our jet lag quicker since we had no choice but to stay up until 11:00 PM, forcing us to go about 30 hours without sleep. Admittedly, most of us snoozed on the plane ride between Amsterdam and Copenhagen as we found it impossible to do otherwise, but that was a rather brief nap.

Day 1

The next morning, our introduction to Copenhagen began with an early walk along the harbor to meet the Little Mermaid. The Little Mermaid, a sculpture of granite and bronze, was a gift to the city of Copenhagen by brewer Carl Jacobsen in 1913. She sits just a few feet from the shore making access easy. Although she is an icon of Copenhagen and the target of many tourists, she has also been the unfortunate victim of many jokesters and demonstrators over the decades. Her head has been detached multiple times, she’s been explosively removed from her rock perch, and she’s been frequently stained with paint. Still, with diligent repairs, she’s remained tragically pining for her prince for over 100 years.

The Little Mermaid
The Little Mermaid is a popular tourist attraction. If you wish to have a more personal experience with her, I’d recommend visiting in the morning.

Making our way back from the Little Mermaid, we wandered through the Kastellet, a star-shaped fortress built by King Frederik III in 1662. The Kastellet’s bright colors and tranquil landscapes camouflage a more complicated past. It has been used for many purposes through its centuries including a prison and later Nazi headquarters when Germany occupied Denmark during World War II. It felt incongruous for the same space to contain both armed Royal Life Guards and the rosiest 18th-century barracks I’ve ever seen.

Our hotel was close to the Marmorkirken (Marble Church), so we couldn’t pass on a visit later that morning. The Marmorkirken is believed to be modeled after St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. While its dome is reminiscent of the Vatican, it is used for Lutheran worship. It was intended to honor the royal family’s 300-year reign, but construction ended up taking 150 years too long for that purpose. This delay was largely due to the enormous expense of Norwegian marble, one of the primary building materials used. Eventually, the church became the 5th largest dome in the world and the 2nd largest in Europe. We lucked out and happened to drop in at just the right time to join one of the twice-weekly tours to the top of the dome where the views are astounding.

Marmorkirken
The Marble Church (Marmorkirken) was principally constructed out of Norwegian marble. The dome has a diameter of about 100 feet.

One of our oddest, and most humorous, experiences of our vacation occurred at the Marmorkirken. A man with a thick carpet of chest and shoulder hair, which was prominently featured via the tank top he was wearing, grabbed one of the church’s bottles of hand sanitizer and approached our niece with it. He said in English, “Your hands please.” This prompted her to hold out her hand for a generous application of the sanitizer believing he was one of the church’s staff members, and this was among their anti-COVID processes. However, after the man repeated this procedure with my sister and me, he briefly perused a church corridor, grabbed one of the available tourist pamphlets, and vanished outside. Clearly, he was not an employee of the church. What the what? Out of the crowd of about 15 people waiting to start the tour, why did he pick us? And why the creepy sanitizing charade in the first place? We are still both baffled by and giggling about the experience.

Amalienborg Slot
The Marmorkirken supplies an excellent view of the Amalienborg Slot, the current home of Danish royalty.

Later that afternoon, we decided to visit Rosenborg Slot, though our time there would be limited. Rosenborg Slot was originally built to serve as the summer palace of King Christian IV. Construction began in 1606. Sometime in the 1700s, his great-grandson, King Frederik IV, decided he’d like a fancier seasonal home, leading to the opening of Rosenborg to the public as a royal museum in 1838.

The castle, built in Dutch Renaissance style, is full of opulence but also peculiarities. For instance, on display is a beloved pranking device of the king, a trouser-wetting chair, which would grasp sitters and then drench their seat with water. One room, the Mirror Cabinet, features walls of mirrors, which were extremely expensive to produce at the time. That’s not too unusual for a royal splurge. The unusual component is the circular floor mirror that was used to gaze up women’s skirts.

Rosenborg Slot
Rosenborg is a beautiful palace and holds an array of treasures.

Rosenborg’s biggest draw for many is its basement vaults containing Denmark’s crown jewels. While the glitz and grandeur in the treasury are overwhelming, a few items stand out. Christian IV’s coronation crown from 1596, weighing 6.6 pounds and covered with intricate depictions of the king’s many virtues, is one of them. Goblets and jewelry featuring a swanky skull and crossbones motif are another. It isn’t just the jewelry in the vaults that dazzles though. Some of Christian IV’s saddles and riding gear, layered with pearls and gold, are almost equally impressive.

Hans and friends
At Kongens Have, we took in one of Copenhagen’s best-known monuments depicting Hans Christian Andersen captivating children with a story.

While our time in Rosenborg was rushed due to its approaching closing, not all parts of the outing were hurried. Rosenborg is situated in the Kongens Have (King’s Garden) making a welcomed stroll through this extensive park necessary. The garden was created in 1606 as the private grounds for Rosenborg Slot and is now a peaceful green used by the citizens of Copenhagen.

Rundetaarn
Each turn of the Round Tower’s spiraling ramp gains just over 12 feet of elevation.

Since we were close to the Rundetaarn, we decided to stop by on our walk back to our hotel. The Rundetaarn, or Round Tower, was built in 1642 during Denmark’s astronomy boon as a university observatory and library. There are hundreds of towers you can climb in Europe, so why bother with this one’s 128 feet? For starters, instead of stairs, it utilizes a gentle ramp paved by bricks to slowly spiral 7.5 times to its apex. This uncommon feature was integrated so equipment and supplies could be taken to the top by horse-drawn carts. A hollow core provides even more architectural interest than the slanted floor. The tower was used as Denmark’s geographical zero point for surveys after the 1760s, a function facilitated by that core. The valiant can stand at the top of the gap on a sheet of glass and fully appreciate all 82 feet of the drop.

the hollow core
The shaft of the Round Tower’s hollow core extends through most of the height of the building.

As the oldest European observatory still in operation, the Rundetaarn’s corridors have attracted many famous figures like Hans Christian Andersen, who used to do research in its library, and Tsar Peter the Great, who once raced his horse up its spinning passageway. Its views aren’t as fine as the higher Marmorkirken though.

Day 2

One of the primary places I wanted to see while staying in Copenhagen was the town of Roskilde, a 25-minute train ride from the city. Roskilde was Denmark’s first capitol. It is a charming mix of the ancient and modern and contains a wealth of historic wonders. My primary aim in visiting was the Vikingeskibsmuseet (Viking Ship Museum).

Skuldelev ships
The Skuldelev ships at the Viking Ship Museum are a mix of warring, trading, and fishing vessels.

This remarkable museum holds five Viking vessels known as the Skuldelev ships that were sunk in the Roskilde Fjord to provide fortification in the 11th century. They were discovered in the 1960s and excavated. More than just exhumed skeletons, these vessels have been turned into living history with constructed replicas. I was led to believe by an incorrect guidebook that one could go sailing on the Viking reproductions. That is false, so, if you also read that in a travel manual, dismiss it. While you can board and examine the Sea Stallion from Glendalough, an impressive replica of the longest ship housed in the museum, you cannot cruise on it.

Sea Stallion
The Sea Stallion from Glendalough is a recreation of the longship found in Roskilde Fjord. It carried 60 warriors and required 80 trees to build.

What can you sail on? The museum’s boatyard has a collection of over 40 authentic historic reproductions based on designs from all over Scandinavia. Some of these are available for sailings. However, if your crew is too few and light for a sailing, you must instead do a rowing. With a group of only five, that was our fate. We rowed in a boat built in the museum boatyard in 2000 using traditional Faroe Island techniques called the Trolle.

Trolle
Being of Viking ancestry does not make you more useful on a boat, this one for instance.

Though our guide insisted we do all the rowing and steering ourselves, we were not worthy of these duties. We only made it out of the harbor into the choppy waters of the Roskilde Fjord for a few minutes before the stress of trying to oversee our substandard abilities got to her, and she directed us back to calmer waters. In our defense, the wind on the Roskilde Fjord gets extra insistent as winter approaches, and thus, it was more blustery than normal as their season was nearing its end with the close of September.

submerged and preserved
The Skuldelev ships were remarkably well preserved after spending almost a thousand years under water.

On a fascinating sidenote, renovations to the Viking Ship Museum in the 1990s led to the discovery of nine more boats buried within the museum’s grounds from the Viking and Middle Ages. One of these is the longest Viking warship ever found. Oddly, these Roskilde ships are not displayed at the Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde but at the National Museum in Copenhagen.

screaming Viking
The Viking Ship Museum was both educational and entertaining.

Although not the key reason for our visit to Roskilde, we were able to also make it to the city’s celebrated brick church. Construction of the Roskilde Domkirke began in the 12th century. It has served as the mausoleum for Danish Royalty since the Reformation. The ornate caskets and vaults of these noble individuals are plentiful throughout the structure. It is believed that the remains of Harold I (Bluetooth), a 10-century Viking king, are entombed in one of the pillars. In case you are wondering, yes, he is where the name for Bluetooth technology comes from.

Roskilde Domkirke
Built in the 12th century, the Roskilde Domkirke is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Day 3

Before leaving Copenhagen, Jason and I ventured out early to see the Changing of the Guard at Amalienborg Slot, the current residence of the royal family. The pageantry and puffy hats were entertaining.

Changing of the Guard
When we think of royal pomp, the British typically come to mind, but the Danes have fluffy hats too.

Then, we were all off to Møn after a slight rental-car-induced delay. Although online information said our reserved rental car would fit six people and all their luggage, that calculation definitely did not take into account the overpacking of the typical American traveler. Following a debate on whether we could drive for hours with heavy backpacks on our laps and suitcases between our legs, we ended up renting an additional vehicle.

Next week, I will discuss Møn and Middelfart. I promise, it will be more than just hot air.

Tired? Na

We all know of the benefits of exercise, from decreasing waistlines to decreasing depression. However, exercise can negatively impact sleep… when you are running all night on a 46-square-mile pan of salt instead of snuggling in your 33-square-foot bed. If that sleepless/saline combo seems about as likely as hotdog fingers, you might be on to everything.

Squad snaps
The photo opportunities on the Bonneville Salt Flats are inimitable.

The Dusk to Dawn Relay + Ultra is a destination race that circles over the justifiably famous Bonneville Salt Flats from sunset to sunrise. With two-mile loops, teammates can rally in one place and lounge while awaiting their turn to make tracks. Jason and I have participated in this unique event consistently since its inaugural year back in 2019.

For 2022’s race, we had so many interested contestants we decided to form two teams. This decision was also promoted by the desire of some to separate into “competitive” and “casual” groupings. That is how the Na Squad and Na Squad Too came into being. Jason and I joined the “competitive” faction. Jason is speedy, and I was part of his combo deal.

thrilled saltless
At Dusk to Dawn, exercise and frivolity combine in a night of briny exhaustion.

While having a large company amplified the fun, it also amplified the stress. We had to replace two teammates in the weeks and days before the event thanks to a move and a bone fracture. Ever tried to find a friend who is willing to run all night in the middle of the desert with no time to train? Yup, it isn’t something people usually say yes to. Fortunately, we know a couple of people precisely that brand of cracked.

Squad camp
Those relays where you have to follow the runner in a van? Forget that and bring your camp chair.

Although this race takes place at night in part to avoid the exposed heat of the West Desert, the area can be blazing even near dusk in September. It was 102 degrees when we arrived on the flats at 6:00 PM. With heat reflecting off the white salt like a stovetop mirror, it felt even worse. Hence, my throat remained parched for hours no matter how much spare liquid I consumed.

2022’s Dusk to Dawn Relay + Ultra included 94 participants, 14 teams and 14 ultra runners. Our competitive consortium completed 62 miles over the night, which resulted in us placing 5th in six-person teams and 6th overall. The casual team finished 46 miles. They came in 9th in six-person teams and 10th overall.

salinity not senility
Who says ionic assemblies and entwining aerobics can’t be a fun combination?

I contributed 12 miles to our team’s total and so did Jason. He managed to keep his pace between 7.0 and 7.5 minutes per mile for the entire night. One of his calves started hurting on his first lap thanks to a poorly planned intense run just days earlier. Luckily, since I am always prepared, I was prepped with Advil in case of just such an ill-timed boo-boo.

fives a plenty
We finished 10 miles behind the winners and 30 miles in front of the lowest contenders.

As for me, thanks to an injury, which later was determined to be a fractured talus and associated bone lesion, I had been forced to reduce my training for this event. My speed was sufficient considering my current situation but a disappointment after my performance the year before. I managed to stay close to a 10-minute mile on all but my last loop. That last lap, my knees were hurting something fierce; it was only with immense willpower that I even pulled a 12-minute mile.

an uninvited morning
Wake me up before you go, go!

While keeping a runner out on the course at all times was a primary goal, it wasn’t our only focus. The astronomy club from a local university set up enormous telescopes and participants got to view the Orion Nebula, Dumbbell Nebula, Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, and the moon at different points during the night. That was in addition to the omnipresent glistening balls of plasma peppering the heavens with their thermonuclear fusion.

finishing touches
Our group was silly and supportive in equal measure.

As you might assume, I was stiff after this event concluded, particularly my knees and ankle. (Remember, my ankle was fractured. I just didn’t know it.) I loosened that leg tension with a mile walk hours after the relay, which made my grumbly parts much better. (I’d highly recommend that tactic for reducing post-race discomfort.) The next day, I felt fine, but Jason was still hurting.

The Na Squads
That’s quite a squad.

While it may seem like only the nocturnally masochistic would find substituting sleep with running appealing, this race truly is a remarkable occasion even for the most self-preserving. Aerobic ambitions sprinkled with salt, dark skies sprinkled with stars, scratchy cots sprinkled with family member… Yup, this universe has got some crazy sh#t too.

Soaked and Cultured Part II

We had just enough time between traveling from Brian Head to our first play at the Utah Shakespeare Festival to take a detour to Old Iron Town. Old Iron Town is the remains of a mining settlement that was established in 1868 and ceased operations in 1876, though mining continued in the area into the late 20th century with open-pit excavations and the building of a railroad for ore transportation. Predictably, Old Iron Town was an interesting stop.

beehive kiln
This kiln still bears scorch marks from 150 years ago.

After our visit into the deserted past, we were off to the most dramatic part of our vacation. We saw four plays at the Utah Shakespeare Festival over two days. Clue was Jason’s favorite in part because he understood the dialogue and plot fully, which isn’t always the case for him at the festival. I thought Clue was silly, witty, and fun to watch. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street was perhaps less fun to witness. I expected it to be morbid; the involuntary gagging was slightly less anticipated. With that said, the acting was as well done as the flaky meat pies. The Tempest was showing at the festival’s smallest theater, and we enjoyed the intimate setting. This production turned male roles into female ones, a timely change if not entirely accurate to Shakespeare. Shakespearean tragedies often involve mutilations, dismemberments, and other such maimings. King Lear, with actor Anthony Heald in the lead, did not hold back on that front; eyeballs were gouged out and played with enthusiastically.

I promised I wasn’t done talking about our repeat encounters with rain, so let the torrent of information continue. Our King Lear performance was nearly canceled due to a heavy downpour that persisted for the first half hour of the show. Luckily, Jason and I were prepared as usual with multiple rain jackets and garbage bags, plus extras to pass around to those less equipped.

Thor’s Hideout
The Thor’s Hideout Trail passes some impressive rock formations.

Between all those shows, we purged thoughts of meat pies and insane sovereigns with a hike to Thor’s Lookout via Thor’s Hideout from the Thunderbird Gardens Trailhead, a total of 3.6 miles. Temperatures remained in the low eighties, hot enough for sweat but not hot enough for no sweat. Apart from the abundant, shapely vermillion rock, Thor’s throne, a massive chair created from stone and wood, was the coolest thing about this hike. Before departing Cedar City, my family also took a 1.5-mile walk on one of the town’s agreeable paved paths, the Cedar Canyon Trail. While not quite as scenic as Thor’s Hideout, its mild incline made it a hit with those in all shape stages.

Thor’s throne
Thor’s throne was fashioned out of logs and stones.

Upon leaving Cedar City, we stopped expanding our minds and started squishing our bodies. On the return drive, we stopped at the Tabernacle Hill Lava Tubes near Fillmore. We estimated we’d spend 1.5 hours there. Instead, we spent five. Our original guess didn’t account for the area’s many levels. Tabernacle Hill was an active volcano 10,000-24,000 years ago. Its numerous eruptions left a lava field nearly four miles wide. Atop that field are bizarre porous outcroppings and below it a fascinating system of lava tubes of varying sizes and in different states of ruin. We couldn’t leave one of these crunchy, aerated layers unsampled, so five hours it was.

ancient plumbing
The lava tubes at Tabernacle Hill are 10,000-24,000 years old.

We started our explorations by following a collapsed tube into a crater meadow before climbing through another partially collapsed tunnel. Afterward, we hiked to the top of the cinder cone adjacent to Tabernacle Crater, which was once a lava lake. The crown of this mound was mercilessly sharp, brilliantly scarlet, and jutted out of its crumbling base in a frenzied fashion. Excruciatingly uncanny! Later, we scoured the hillsides for more open tubes to discover. The tubes were prolific but finding entrance holes proved difficult. We succeeded eventually, and the cramped-quarters lovers amongst us went on a tight shaft romp in that find before we all returned to a sizable intact tube on the other side of the road. That large conduit provided much to encounter with a flashlight and a blacklight. Just as we were about to exit the cave, a downpour began, so we got drenched one more time. Later, we learned there was a flash flood in Cedar City just hours after we left.

Tabernacle’s cinder cone
This cinder cone had lost none of its sharpness in its tens of thousands of years.

Nothing eliminates cave funk like hot springs funk. With that in mind, after Tabernacle Hill we took yet another detour, this time to Meadow Hot Springs. Meadow Hot Springs are a string of geothermally heated pools located near Tabernacle Hill. Some of the pools apparently reach 100 degrees. The one we plopped into seemed more like warm bath water. A foot soak sure felt nice though. The nibbling fish, a little less so.

grotto gashes
Everyone in our group got cut by the lava rocks at some point during our explorations of Tabernacle Hill, including one head gusher.

With that, our oddly adventurous trip prompted by a series of plays ended. Since the soakings were almost as prolific as the monologues, it wasn’t exactly what we were expecting. However, sometimes the unexpected is better… as long as you don’t get struck by lightning.