The Gory Details

This October we held our annual Halloween bash once more. We again covered our house in potion books and cobwebs. And, as usual, we spent months creating costumes, collecting prizes and preparing games. And yes, our brains were both donated by Abby Normal. (How did you know?)

I looked berry sweet dressed as the 80s Strawberry Shortcake toy. Jason, on the other hand, seemed a little peculiar.
I looked berry sweet dressed as the 80s Strawberry Shortcake toy. Jason, on the other hand, seemed a little peculiar.
Just your typical haunted tabletop.
Just your typical haunted tabletop.
Floating lanterns seemed like perfect companions for a cocooned corpse.
Floating lanterns seemed like perfect companions for a cocooned corpse.

As I have mentioned at every possible opportunity, transforming our house into a festive haunt takes a tremendous amount of work. However, despite the ominous layers of spectral decay prolific at our party, some attendees can’t comprehending how the bedecking could take more than a day or two. If you doubt the validity of our toils, help us decorate for a few hours. The tiny area you’ll complete with an evening’s work will have you convinced. (Yes, I am trying to trick you into helping us decorate.)

The pinata got hammered.
The pinata got hammered.
Mindy won second place in the kids' costume contest.
Mindy won second place in the kids’ costume contest.
Read my rant below to learn all about this stairway.
Read my rant below to learn all about this stairway.

Since I’m already whining, allow me to continue with a dissection of the lengthy process involved in transforming just one small space from tedious to terrifying. Please refer to the picture of the staircase above and the steps to its creation below:

  1. Get a splendidly morbid idea, preferably one you haven’t used in the 15+ years you’ve been spooking. (This can be pretty tough when your creative juice have already been digested a few times. Isn’t there some rule about how many times you can drink your pee?)
  2. Disassemble Jason’s bad idea. (Sorry Jason, your concept for the staircase didn’t look very good.)
  3. Cover one wall in black gossamer sheets for the benefit of some soon-to be-added pallid bits.
  4. Cover those sheets strategically with black creepy cloth.
  5. Add squirming mummy hands, AKA pallid bits.
  6. Add stringy white cloth to make it appear like the mummy hands have been losing their stuff n’ stuff.
  7. Add some ragged grey cloth like your grandma would add doilies.
  8. Add a string of bat lights.
  9. Hang dismembered hands on opposite wall.
  10. Give those hands some holey cloth and eyeballs to hold onto.
  11. Wrap the whole area in a thick coating of cobwebs.
  12. Add a few final touches like flaming candlesticks and rabid rats.
  13. Power up everything with some imaginative extension cord placement and a whole lot of batteries.

That little zone took no less than several hours and over 100 pushpins to create. But at least we only had another twenty areas or so to go afterward…

We upped the eerie in our basement.
We upped the eerie in our basement.
Why did it have to be spandex?
Why did it have to be spandex?
I wanted to smell berry nice, like a Strawberry Shortcake toy, so I wore this fine fragrance made by American Greetings. Since it was designed by a greeting card company, I knew it would be full of sunshine and smiles.
I wanted to smell berry nice, like a Strawberry Shortcake toy, so I wore this fine fragrance made by American Greetings. Since it was designed by a greeting card company, I knew it would be full of sunshine and smiles.

Although a party wouldn’t be fitting for Halloween without some dark ambiance, you’ve got to follow through after you set the mood. Photos by professionals, carnival games, a piñata, crafts, bingo, treats, a costume contests… we made sure our party wasn’t all dressed up with nowhere to go.

Our party was so amazing, some guests just wouldn't leave.
Our party was so amazing, some guests just wouldn’t leave.
A photo area has become a standard feature at our party.
A photo area has become a standard feature at our party.

We had roughly 70 or so guests show up, a pretty normal turnout. It was a wicked, insane, sugary, chaotic, colorful, noisy, crowded, sticky, amusing, competitive, exhausting night. In other words, it was a typical Sabin party.

The kids take their bashing duties seriously; it's quite comical.
The kids take their bashing duties seriously; it’s quite comical.

Thanks everyone that joined us in celebrating the most horrible (and best) holiday. No party would be a success without fun-loving people. And a big thank you to the tremendous kin and friends that helped us put up, clean up, take down or run games. We had more helpers this year than we ever have. Due to that atypical assistance, our decorations are almost all contained at this point. That is unprecedented progress given we are often still packing away Halloween when it’s time to put up Christmas. Thank you!

A Strike for Dad

A pleasant memory is much more valuable than another golf shirt or the latest Grisham novel. And, clearly, a memory involving me is sure to be pleasant. Hence, I decided that the best thing to give my dad and brothers this year for Father’s Day was an incredible night out with their coolest relative… and some of the rest of the family. My mom and several siblings hopped onboard with this plan quickly. Yup, they know a genius idea when they hear one.

Although Father’s Day was months ago, this exceptional scheme was only recently carried out. Fourteen of my family members assembled for dinner at India Palace followed by an hour of bowling. Andrew was the unlikely winner of our match, trailed closely by Jason. Those turkeys were so far behind initially that no one even heard their gobbles coming.

These bowlers supported and harassed each other in equal parts, just as family should.
These bowlers supported and harassed each other in equal parts, just as family should.

The heckling opportunities, which were as plentiful as the pins in our lanes, continued with a couple rounds of laser tag. Unfortunately for my critics, my tagging skills are inconsequentially mediocre and not even taunt worthy.

The boys in my family got a heap of togetherness that night along with a large helping of Indian bowling pizazz. Perhaps a golf shirt is sounding pretty good to you about now.

Stoned Again Part II

Our last full day in Yellowstone, after eating a large breakfast at the Lake Yellowstone Hotel, we moseyed over to West Thumb’s assortment of geysers, pools and mudpots with my parents. Right on the shores of Yellowstone Lake, West Thumb’s hydrothermal oddities seem like a replacement for a beach dreamed up by Dali.

The Thumb Paint Pots are a field of miniature mud volcanoes 3-4 feet high. There is nothing smallish about their peculiarity.
The Thumb Paint Pots are a field of miniature mud volcanoes 3-4 feet high. There is nothing smallish about their peculiarity.

Following their tour of West Thumb, my parents departed for home and Jason and I continued our park explorations on our own. We took what we thought would be a short stop at Upper Geyser Basin and ended up staying there the entire afternoon in a very ADD fashion.

Black Pool used to be murky with growth until it got too hot for microorganisms to handle.
Black Pool used to be murky with growth until it got too hot for microorganisms to handle.
Observation Point gave a different perspective of an old favorite.
Observation Point gave a different perspective of an old favorite.

First, we decided to hike to Observation Point, which gives a 160-foot perspective of Old Faithful’s bursts, and then we trekked to Solitary Geyser, a feature changed forever by us hopeless sapiens. After that, we thought we might as well stroll around and see if any features were currently erupting or would be erupting soon. We discovered that Castle and Riverside Geysers were scheduled to gush within the next few hours and, geyser gods permitting, we could probably catch both shows and read a few pages of some good books besides. It sounded like as decent of a plan as any.

Castle Geyser erupts about every 14 hours and has one of the most interesting cones in Upper Geyser Basin.
Castle Geyser erupts about every 14 hours and has one of the most interesting cones in Upper Geyser Basin.

I am proud to report that our reading and waiting were conducted expertly. We witnessed Castle’s ramparts flooded with insistent fountains and Riverside’s rainbow gracefully arched across the Firehole River. It was quite the double feature.

This feature was named Belgian Pool in honor of a Belgian man that fell in and died many years ago. Jason's shadow slipped in but suffered no serious injuries from the incident.
This feature was named Belgian Pool in honor of a Belgian man that fell in and died many years ago. Jason’s shadow slipped in but suffered no serious injuries from the incident.
With herds of bison roaming freely across unaltered hillsides, Hayden Valley seems lost in time.
With herds of bison roaming freely across unaltered hillsides, Hayden Valley seems lost in time.

In total, we wandered about five of six miles around the basin, often in circles, before the sun called it a day and we had to too. I guess time flies when you are staring at pressurized water heated deep underground by magma from an active volcano.

Riverside Geyser produces 75-foot columns during its picturesque outbursts, which happen roughly every six hours.
Riverside Geyser produces 75-foot columns during its picturesque outbursts, which happen roughly every six hours.

So next time you have a family member cancel on the same vacation two years in a row, be unperturbed. Be happy in the knowledge that your trip will go on and your enjoyment of it should too. For life is too short not to stop and smell the sulfur.