My Secret Life as a Leprechaun

I discovered recently, after long holding beliefs to the contrary, that I am in fact part Irish. I’ve always enjoyed celebrating St. Patty’s Day, even when I wasn’t Irish, but now I can pompously claim that I’m just honoring my heritage when pinching greenless bystanders mercilessly.

‘Tis the wee feet of little lucky lads.

This year I decided to do something a wee bit special for my nieces and nephews to pay homage to The Emerald Isle. I sewed tiny drawstring bags out of appropriately festive fabric and filled them with chocolate coins. Then, when my family had their St. Patrick’s Day get-together, I arrived early to simulate a leprechaun visit with tiny footprints and a series of notes that led to the end of the rainbow. My leprechaun treasure hunt was a mystical success! Sadly, after all that work, not all of the kiddies were able to be present but the ones that were seemed to find it as magically delicious as I intended.

These bags may look super simple but without a pattern they took more ingenuity to make than you might think.

Seeing as I’m not quite short enough to be a leprechaun, I have vowed to give up my shamrock shenanigans for now. Who knows though, maybe next year I will break out the little feet and gold-laden cauldron again. After all, people have been telling me for years that I look elfish so maybe, considering my newfound Irish ancestry, my impish charades are only a wee stretch.

Battle of the Trek Geniuses

I have been a Trekkie, or a Trekker if you want to be politically correct, since adolescence. My teenage heartthrob was Mr. Data. Need I say more? My brother-in-law, Ryan, is perhaps an even more despicable fan. You know, the type whose basement is packed with impenetrable airtight/waterproof containers full of model ships, autographed plaques, and unopened communicator collectibles. So naturally when Star Trek Scene It? came out an epic battle between me and Ryan to determine Trek supremacy was imminent, as imminent as a warp core breach after an antimatter containment failure. That historic skirmish happened on stardate 65599.2 AKA last Saturday.

Ryan and I each prepped for our cosmic competition by watching a great deal of Trek. The Star Trek franchise is a galactic behemoth. Between all the various series there are over 600 episodes and 500 hours of television. Since we’re not Peggy Bundy, and don’t have unlimited vegging time, our “research” had to be selective. I have been slowly re-watching The Next Generation, my favorite Trek, since Jason bought me the box set a year ago and a few months back I started supplementally tackling a mix of Voyager, Enterprise, and The Original Series. Ryan decided to concentrate his efforts on The Next Generation and Enterprise before our big showdown. He completed viewing both in their entirety. Not that it did him any good. Wahaha!

Everyone wanted to try on Jason's Starfeet uniform. At least it wasn't a belly shirt on Benson like it is on Jason.

Finally, the chosen day came and our battle was afoot. The difficulty of the game’s questions varied considerably from super easy to nearly impossible. Although each of us had a couple teammates, teammates that proved more useful than those red-shirted security fellows, it was really Rachel vs. Ryan for the most part. With a little luck, and some super amazing memory recall skills, team Rachel warped ahead at first. Eventually Ryan got his dilithium crystals aligned properly and he sped up to nearly take the victory. But in the end he just couldn’t make her go any faster. He basically choked on his last couple questions. One involved some simple Enterprise trivia and the other an Original Series query about the Botany Bay. I guess some people just can’t handle the pressure of command. Fortunately, I was able to quickly identify the Botany Bay for the win before Ryan could regroup his forces.

Ryan was "stunned" by his defeat.

I know Ryan considers himself a venerable vault of Trekkie trivia so I’m sure this defeat will haunt him and fill him with the deepest shame for many years to come…or until we have a rematch. He made a good effort but you just can’t win them all, especially if your opponent is me or Q.

The Just Us League

Once you have jumped into a freezing lake your perspective on everything changes. The world suddenly seems warmer and you feel like you could do just about anything, almost as if you had superpowers.

Justice has a new face and it's an ugly one.

After double-dipping into ice sheathed waters last winter we decided to again support the Special Olympics by plunging into Utah Lake this year and we convinced an even bigger circle of family and friends to join us. Our nine man brigade opted to go all out, and all ridiculous, in the costume department. Since leaping into 33 degree water is a stunt only the super dumb or the superhero would attempt it seemed fitting for us to dress as both.

It took a bit of super strength to stare those frigid waters down and jump in.

We, or I rather, named our team the Just Us League like the Justice League only it’s just us. Don’t get the joke? Obviously you have no sense of Rachel humor.

Although last year we had to swim farther to get back to shore, the distance this time still seemed infinitely long.

We all picked a superhero to emulate. Jason selected Captain America and I chose to go as Supergirl. Supergirl’s blonde hair was the primary reason for that decision; a wig doesn’t work when you’re diving into a lake. I made me a cape and some arm bracers embellished with silly gold rickrack reminiscent of the tacky uniforms worn in the original Star Trek TV series. Though my costume looked rather absurd, I was definitely outgunned by some of the outrageous boys on our team. Jason, Jeremy, and Adam all wore Speedos. Need I say more? Icky! With their masks and accessories Jason and Jeremy looked like extremely low-budget adult film stars.

Jeremy was revolting in his mankini. Superheroes are supposed to save the world not repulse it.

Our team may have been flashy and flamboyant in our costuming but we were even flashier in our fundraising. We raised about $1200 for the Special Olympics. That placed us as one of the top three grossing teams…and gross we were.

Our massive group had to be split in two; we were too bulky to jump in at once. This, our second set of plungers, did us proud.

The largeness of our group and coolness of our costumes compounded to make for one fantastic plunge. Although our presently milder than normal winter didn’t help the temperature of the lake much, with our super attire and courageous entourage we were ready to face any frigid foe. We took on that chilly villain and we took it down! Just us was served!