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Battle of the Trek Geniuses

I have been a Trekkie, or a Trekker if you want to be politically correct, since adolescence. My teenage heartthrob was Mr. Data. Need I say more? My brother-in-law, Ryan, is perhaps an even more despicable fan. You know, the type whose basement is packed with impenetrable airtight/waterproof containers full of model ships, autographed plaques, and unopened communicator collectibles. So naturally when Star Trek Scene It? came out an epic battle between me and Ryan to determine Trek supremacy was imminent, as imminent as a warp core breach after an antimatter containment failure. That historic skirmish happened on stardate 65599.2 AKA last Saturday.

Ryan and I each prepped for our cosmic competition by watching a great deal of Trek. The Star Trek franchise is a galactic behemoth. Between all the various series there are over 600 episodes and 500 hours of television. Since we’re not Peggy Bundy, and don’t have unlimited vegging time, our “research” had to be selective. I have been slowly re-watching The Next Generation, my favorite Trek, since Jason bought me the box set a year ago and a few months back I started supplementally tackling a mix of Voyager, Enterprise, and The Original Series. Ryan decided to concentrate his efforts on The Next Generation and Enterprise before our big showdown. He completed viewing both in their entirety. Not that it did him any good. Wahaha!

Everyone wanted to try on Jason's Starfeet uniform. At least it wasn't a belly shirt on Benson like it is on Jason.

Finally, the chosen day came and our battle was afoot. The difficulty of the game’s questions varied considerably from super easy to nearly impossible. Although each of us had a couple teammates, teammates that proved more useful than those red-shirted security fellows, it was really Rachel vs. Ryan for the most part. With a little luck, and some super amazing memory recall skills, team Rachel warped ahead at first. Eventually Ryan got his dilithium crystals aligned properly and he sped up to nearly take the victory. But in the end he just couldn’t make her go any faster. He basically choked on his last couple questions. One involved some simple Enterprise trivia and the other an Original Series query about the Botany Bay. I guess some people just can’t handle the pressure of command. Fortunately, I was able to quickly identify the Botany Bay for the win before Ryan could regroup his forces.

Ryan was "stunned" by his defeat.

I know Ryan considers himself a venerable vault of Trekkie trivia so I’m sure this defeat will haunt him and fill him with the deepest shame for many years to come…or until we have a rematch. He made a good effort but you just can’t win them all, especially if your opponent is me or Q.

Rachel March 1, 2012 3 Comments

The Just Us League

Once you have jumped into a freezing lake your perspective on everything changes. The world suddenly seems warmer and you feel like you could do just about anything, almost as if you had superpowers.

Justice has a new face and it's an ugly one.

After double-dipping into ice sheathed waters last winter we decided to again support the Special Olympics by plunging into Utah Lake this year and we convinced an even bigger circle of family and friends to join us. Our nine man brigade opted to go all out, and all ridiculous, in the costume department. Since leaping into 33 degree water is a stunt only the super dumb or the superhero would attempt it seemed fitting for us to dress as both.

It took a bit of super strength to stare those frigid waters down and jump in.

We, or I rather, named our team the Just Us League like the Justice League only it’s just us. Don’t get the joke? Obviously you have no sense of Rachel humor.

Although last year we had to swim farther to get back to shore, the distance this time still seemed infinitely long.

We all picked a superhero to emulate. Jason selected Captain America and I chose to go as Supergirl. Supergirl’s blonde hair was the primary reason for that decision; a wig doesn’t work when you’re diving into a lake. I made me a cape and some arm bracers embellished with silly gold rickrack reminiscent of the tacky uniforms worn in the original Star Trek TV series. Though my costume looked rather absurd, I was definitely outgunned by some of the outrageous boys on our team. Jason, Jeremy, and Adam all wore Speedos. Need I say more? Icky! With their masks and accessories Jason and Jeremy looked like extremely low-budget adult film stars.

Jeremy was revolting in his mankini. Superheroes are supposed to save the world not repulse it.

Our team may have been flashy and flamboyant in our costuming but we were even flashier in our fundraising. We raised about $1200 for the Special Olympics. That placed us as one of the top three grossing teams…and gross we were.

Our massive group had to be split in two; we were too bulky to jump in at once. This, our second set of plungers, did us proud.

The largeness of our group and coolness of our costumes compounded to make for one fantastic plunge. Although our presently milder than normal winter didn’t help the temperature of the lake much, with our super attire and courageous entourage we were ready to face any frigid foe. We took on that chilly villain and we took it down! Just us was served!

Rachel February 15, 2012 2 Comments

Christmas C&C

Gather round children and listen up for I have a story that will fill you all with the wonder and meaning of the season:

This Christmas holiday Jason and I had just enough time to ourselves to undertake a top to bottom cleaning of our house. This endeavor was instigated by me and once my mind’s made up to do something there’s no unmaking it. While our home was in need of a thorough cleaning, Jason was not quite as enthusiastic about this plan as I was. He especially didn’t appreciate my two-day scrubbing extravaganza coming dangerously close to impeding his Christmas fun. I didn’t finish furiously dusting until 11:32 PM on Christmas Eve, compelling him to frequently remind me of the time limitations on my tidying allowance. The next day, however, Jason changed his tune and decided he was rather glad we had cleaned. He enjoyed having a sparkly home somewhere underneath the layers of wrapping paper.

I gave Jason a MacBook Air and the Steve Jobs biography for Christmas. That nerdy combo led to this nerdy picture.
We gave our niece Abigail this darling handmade hat for Christmas.

Cooking was to our Christmas as cleaning was to our Christmas Eve. We made puffy cheddar grits for breakfast and a fancy dinner of wild mushroom risotto topped with citrus-seasoned arugula and toasted hazelnuts. Sugar was definitely invited to the party as well; we baked both chocolate cupcakes and jelly-filled cookies. Although our Christmas was not quite its usual hectic mess, Jason was still tired and had had enough of culinary creativeness about the time I started forming the cookies and therefore protested their construction. I’m not sure why he thought he had the right to gripe since he wasn’t exactly helping me prepare them, more like complaining on the sidelines as I rolled, but for some reason he seemed to find standing around doing nothing too taxing to tolerate. Of course, me being me, I was unmoved by his grumblings and I just baked away anyway. The next day, as he was gobbling up those buttery treats, he admitted that he was very happy I had persevered and basted through his grumpies.

Hmmm…I’m no psychology expert but there seems to be some reoccurring behavior patterns emerging here.

The ladies in my family are very reserved and refined. Obviously.
We made chocolate cupcakes with a rich velvety frosting. I think I would have enjoyed them more if I hadn't already been so hopped up on sugar.

The morals of this story? The first obviously is that wives can be a tremendous pain in the neck. Forcing spousal participation in a cleaning marathon or cooking fest is practically dehumanizing. Having to tidy your own home or cook for yourself: these tortures no man should ever have to bear. The second message is clearly that your wife knows best so shut up and do what she tells you. I guarantee that you will be glad you did later either because you’ll discover that the fruits of your labor are indeed sweet or because you’ll realize that the only alternative to doing as she asks is listening to her never-ending whining.

How is my family like a hardware store? It's full of nuts.
This broken spaghetti "risotto" was relatively easy to make yet oh so good.

And the final moral of this story? Don’t take me too seriously. My fine tale may seem to suggest the contrary but Jason and I had a fantastic Christmas. I wandered around in my pajamas until sometime in the afternoon. We ate and ate and ate all that scrumptious homemade food and we actually got to open each other’s presents before the sun descended. Sure, Jason did complain a bit here and there, for which he was relentlessly teased, but that just added to the seasonal merriment. I especially enjoyed making fun of my hubby while his face was covered with the crumbs of the cookies he was too pooped to watch me make. Good thing he likes to laugh at himself as much as I do.

Our niece Isabelle had to put on the pink polka dot pajamas we gave her immediately regardless of the other layers of clothing she was already wearing.
Jason and his brothers make a very "special" trio.
Jason's brother Matt asked for a bo staff so he could improve his sweet bo staff skills. We were happy to oblige; subpar staff skills are an embarrassment we don't want in the family.

I hope your holidays were just as full of jovial taunting as they were for me and my spouse. Merry Christmas to all and to all a clean house!

Rachel December 29, 2011 1 Comment
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