Boardgameous dorkus maximus

Posted by on April 6, 2008 at 1:10 pm :: 9 Comments

There is a strange and unique species of geek, a relative of Videogameous dorkus nocturnous, which thrives on a specific activity-playing board games. This species is known as Boardgameous dorkus maximus.

Although they are in the same geek family, there are several differences between Videogameous and Boardgameous. Unlike its cousin, Boardgameous actually enjoys being in the presence of real human beings and having genuine social interaction. To the non-geek, the type of socializing that occurs at board gaming events might seem strange and perhaps undesirable, but it is still interaction between actual living beings, and is therefore less geeky than the atmosphere Videogameous dwells in, which is devoid of any human contact.

Now, if when I mention board games, you are envisioning the likes of Monopoly, Clue, Cranium, Battleship, Sorry, or Life- you are grossly underestimating the caliber of geek I am referring to. Boardgameous would never be satisfied playing such games, they are for lesser beings. Instead, Boardgameous enjoys games such as: Arkham Horror, War of the Ring, Descent, Robo Rally, Puerto Rico-games that all you non-game geeks have probably never heard of. If these games are unfamiliar to you, rejoice, for you are less geeky than me and there is still hope for you.

Jas, Simone, and Andrew geek it up playing Yspahan

Jas, Simone, and Andrew geek it up playing Yspahan

These geeky games are much more complex than your standard board game. In fact, some of their rule books are about the same length as Crime and Punishment and take an equivalent time to read. And if reading the rules for a game doesn’t take you a decade, playing the game certainly will. The playing of some of these games is an all day event.

I must admit, that while I am not really into the extreme hard core geek games, such as Arkham Horror or Descent, I do quite enjoy geek gaming. Nearly every Saturday night for over a year now Jason and I could be found at the Rowley’s playing some geek board game. Now that the Rowley’s have moved to New Jersey we will have to relocate our game night, but the tradition will continue.

Speaking of the Rowley’s-no discussion about board game geeks is complete without mentioning Jeremy Rowley. He is a perfect example of a special sub-species of Boardgameous. This subspecies is practically unable to function unless given a regular infusion of board games. I am happy to say, that while I am geekier than I would like to admit, I am not THAT geeky. (Halleluiah!)

So there you have it, my confession. Although I am much less obsessed than Jeremy Rowley, I am a board game geek, and I have no intention of reforming.


  • Jeremy says:

    You wish you could be me. Only a few geeks have ascended to become the enlightened being that I have become. Only the few blessed can truly appreciate both Puerto Rico and Descent.

    Also, you need a semi-colon in paragraph 2 sentence 2 rather than a comma. Grammar Burn!!

    Good post. You should list all of your geek games (that you or Jason own) so people will know just how far down the rabbit hole you have gone.

  • Jeremy says:

    Moderation? What do you think I’m going to fly off the handle and snap and start cusing??? Why do you need moderation?…. Oh I see Sabin and Blakely post here. Never mind then. Moderation requirement explained.

  • Cam says:

    Jeremy moved to NJ? Huh… wow. The genie was for real. I mean I wished for it, but I never thought for a moment….wow again. Am I kidding? Who can say. With a lethal combination of stress and sleep deprivation raging against my fragile psyche few things are clear. But I know this much- I would love to play some board games. My children will eat, break and loose the pieces creating an extra element of difficulty, something the true Boardgameous Maxiumus can appreciate.

  • Ryan M says:

    Cool, Madison will be so thrilled to come here again and again. After all her hits, will your site go down?

  • Rachel says:

    So cruel…yet so funny. Admittedly, I laughed. Yes, if you want to become a board game geek we can accommodate such an addiction with our many, many, many games. And our willingness to be game geeks.

    You are now INFAMOUS. I heard about the personal ad you posted for some gaming companionship. I laughed, I cried, and then I felt better about my life since I am less pathetic than you.
    Hahahahaha….take that burn baby! But really who isn’t less pathetic than you? Burned again!

  • Jeremy says:

    Come over here and say that to my face! Oh wait, you can’t cause you are too scared…or far away – I forget which one it is.

  • Rachel says:

    I’m not scared of some board game geek. The only place you’ve got muscles is in your wrist-from the dice rolling of course. So unless you plan on rolling me to death, I think I’m safe.

  • Jeremy says:

    My virgin ears have never been so offended. And I was going to bring my children to this blog…

    BTW, I met some of the people who responded to my personal ad. Nice guys.

  • Rachel says:

    You are a dirty old man. I meant it in a perfectly innocent way, because I am so innocent. Being married to a Sabin for seven years has not tainted me in the least.
    “I met some people that responded to my personal ad. Nice guys.”-hmmm I don’t know what part of that sentence is most disturbing.

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