Girls Gone Shopping

Shopping with your woman: the bane of every man. As much as most men despise being coerced, guilted, or tricked into shopping with their girly there is something they find even more tedious: boutique shopping with their girly. Many men shutter just at the thought…excuse me while I roll my eyes. What’s so horrible about boutiques? Whole stores dedicated to marketing every form of baby bow in existence or establishments that smell of potpourri and old wood and are stuffed to the rafters with overpriced decorative doodads. What’s so awful about that?

Although I have no pity for you men that are feeling a little queasy right now as you envision such hells, let me give you a big pointer. There is an easy way to avoid such a loathsome experience and still be the hero of your woman’s dreams: Girls’ Day Out.

That’s right, all you have to do is suggest that your significant other go out shopping with her sisters or girlfriends to those doilie packed boutiques and you are off the hook. If you want extra brownie points simply recommend that they get together for lunch beforehand as well. The “Girls’ Day Out” ploy makes you seem like such a thoughtful guy and it gives your girl exactly what she wants: some relaxing time shopping leisurely with adults. (No, you do not count as an adult in this context. You know that you whine just as much as your children when forced into one of those cutesy stores; don’t try to deny it.)

I too like shopping with those of the female persuasion. Jason is an excellent husband and a very patient shopping partner; he doesn’t grumble like the 5 year olds everyone else seems to be married to, but he does have his deficiencies. When I’m shopping with Jason and I need a second opinion on something such as, whether this or that quilt is cuter, and I’m forced to asked him because I have no other companions, he usually pauses momentarily before responding, not to conscientiously contemplate the question but rather to give himself time to do “Eeny Meeny Miny Moe” in his head. Considering this, I gladly took my sister up on her plans for a refreshing girly excursion.

Last Saturday my sister, sister-in-law, mom, niece, and I all went to Gardner Village for lunch and shopping. We had a great time! We laughed through our meal and enjoyed conversation that for once didn’t revolve around virtual hard drives, software, or network security. After lunch it was time to do some serious boutique shopping damage…for that, you men will find, is the one flaw in the Girls’ Day Out scheme. When girls go shopping together they will spend much more of their dough on items you might find frivolous or perhaps downright unattractive than they would if you were present.

Our men didn’t suffer too much wallet shock from Saturday’s outing though. Sure, my sister and mom may have come home with a few extra pieces of furniture, a rug or two, and enough doll clothes to dress a doll army but it was all on sale and every girl knows that when you buy stuff on sale the only thing that counts is how much you saved not how much you actually spent. I don’t know why guys don’t understand this basic rule; it makes perfect sense in girl world.

Well, whether our husbands would have approved or not, we spent some of our money and had a lovely time doing so. It was great hanging out with the wonderful ladies in my family…and getting opinions that weren’t based on random number generators was pretty sweet as well.

So remember boys: send your wife out with her girlfriends and save both of you the misery of shopping together. It’s a win/win scenario; you look like an angel instead of a selfish prick and your lady gets to truly enjoy shopping for once. Your pocketbook may suffer a little but better it than you.