Dodge That!

Posted by on September 21, 2011 at 9:35 pm :: No Comments

Jason and I lead a bit of a crazy life. If something sounds idiotic or ludicrous you can bet your bottom dollar we’ll be in for doing it. So it’s no shocker that we were up for being part of the largest dodgeball game in the world ever.

When we heard that a local company, Property Management Solutions, was putting together what they were hoping would be the biggest dodgeball game on record in the form of a rivalry match between the fans of two local colleges, BYU and U of U, we were willing ball fodder.

This huge game ended up being even huger than expected. Over 4,000 participants showed up to support their team and become world record holders. Since the U of U side was undermanned we decided to join its ranks. I really couldn’t care less about college sports or team rivalries so it was an easy choice.

Over 760 balls were used for this game, two hundred of which had to be overnighted when the number of estimated participants soared.

The instant the game started the field became a frenzied bedlam. Blue and red balls streamed through the air as if some divine power were frantically weaving a magnificent maypole across the sky. It was quite the sight but my enjoyment of my surroundings quickly decreased as the competition heated up.

I got nailed in the face three times over the space of about a minute near the beginning of the game, mostly because Jason wouldn’t stop distracting me with his complicated game strategy, which he was insistent on me implementing. After three whammies to the cranium I decided to separate my head (along with my body) from the path of those pesky balls thus ending my dodgy career. Now if you are thinking that a hit to the face is illegal in dodgeball, and punishable via the thrower being ousted from the game, you would be correct. But my hitters in blue feigned obliviousness to this rule. I saw nothing in the way of remorse or removal to indicate their acknowledgement of what they had done. Curse you sly throwers for making my discomfort of no strategic consequence!

I couldn't play dodgeball without donning some classic attire: knee-high socks, a headband, and short cutoffs. Other players took the look even further.

Yes, the BYU players, which outnumbered the reds about 3 to 1, pretty much cheated openly. Throngs of bluers that should have been leaving the match as they got hit remained on the field. Come on! Not only did you Y fans soil your goody two-shoes reputation for a trivial game but you outnumbered the U crowd so enormously that cheating was completely unnecessary to win. Shame on you! Granted, there were a few U tricksters as well but poor sportsmanship seemed much more rampant on the Y side of things, and of course I am completely unbiased in this observation.

Jason waited anxiously for the competition to start with the rest of the red team. We were so outnumbered that we knew this was a match few of us would survive.

Once again, as always, where crazy is Sabins follow. I’m glad that we witnessed and participated in this historic mayhem but I’m sad to say it left me with a bit of a headache and a disgruntled attitude for our friends in blue. Karma must have been taking note too because BYU miserably lost their football game to the U the following day. I guess your annoying little sister was right when she told you that cheaters never prosper.

By the way, I think we blew the world record out of the water but I haven’t heard anything official yet on that.

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