Arise and Run

Posted by on October 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm :: No Comments

It’s common knowledge that Jason and I are a little crazy so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that we signed up to run two 5Ks on the same Saturday. While our decision to do what some would categorize as “sort of stupid” shouldn’t astonish any of you, the outcome of that borderline stupidity may shock everyone a little. I’m still a little flabbergasted myself.

When we found out a few weeks ago that one of Jason’s coworkers was organizing a race to help pay for the expensive specialized school his autistic child, Easton, attends we were onboard even though this 5K fell on the same day as another race we had already signed up for. I guess either our hearts are bigger than our brains or we are just idiots beyond reason.

Abigail and I were proud of our medals. We may not have outpaced too many people to get them but we outpaced enough.

Easton’s 5K was a small event with a little less than 100 runners involved but it was well organized. Some of our fellow R.A.C.ers, Jeremy Rowley and Abigail, tackled it with us and Jeremy brought his 10 year old boy Milo too. It was Milo’s first race ever and for a little kid that doesn’t exercise regularly I thought he did great. Sure, Jeremy had to give him a piggyback ride at one point and Milo totally collapsed in the grass right after he crossed the finish line, but he didn’t give up so good job Milo!

I didn’t push myself too much while moving along this course. I knew my next race was just hours away so beating some land speed records wasn’t part of my agenda. That’s why I was shocked when I found out that I had actually won 3rd place out of all the women. Abigail, who was about 30 seconds ahead of me, took 1st. I think she was equally surprised. I’m still not exactly sure how we pulled it off but somehow I’m now no longer a total loser.

Milo only made it a few feet past the finish before he crashed in the grass. He was feeling sickly after his uncustomary exercise.

Jason and I had signed up for our second 5K of the day, the Night of the Running Dead, months ago. We participated in this event, which is a nice mix of horror and health, last year. You can either run it as a zombie or a human. Humans get a 2 minute head start and then the zombies are let loose on them. Pretty awesome, right? Jason and I again opted to represent the undead. Zombies are trendy and disgusting so kind of wonderful in our book.

Last year’s undead race had some organizational challenges. It took place in the middle of a toasty afternoon plus the route, with its morphing loops, was anyone’s guess. But we liked the creepy concept so we wanted to give this run one more shot. Unfortunately, all of the friends that joined us last year weren’t as forgiving. The fear of resurrecting the combination of sweltering temperatures and confusion that made them feel like they really were the living dead in need of brains kept them from registering. Jason and I had faith though that the past would not be revived and we were right. We thought this year’s race was fabulous and I believe the thousands of other participants would agree with us.

We didn't use latex to putrefy ourselves this year because last time our sweat pooled underneath those patches transforming us into even fouler creatures than we had anticipated. But I think we still fit the part without it.

The run started at 9:00 PM, 9:02 if you were a zombie. It could have been freezing by that time in the evening but instead it was perfect. What a pleasant night for an apocalypse. Before the start we were shown news clips of the infection that led to the reanimation revolution. The clips ended with a report that the president had ordered the bombing of Salt Lake City due to its raging zombie infestation and then all of a sudden fireworks exploded representing that airstrike. It was rather cool.

More entertainment was in store for us after we headed on our way. Our route went through some residential areas and many of those residents came outside to watch the hordes of corpses sprint past. Some of them even brought out their lawn chairs like the throngs of scampering carcasses were part of a glitzy parade. It made me chuckle. We were also greeted along our path by some professional zombies ranging from the wandering to the menacing. They added another element of spookiness and fun.

Jason found his golden brain quite satisfying.

I thought I might be sluggish and all tuckered out during this race seeing as it was my second one of the day but the refreshing evening air and the power of my vile disguise propelled me forward. I guess I really am a creature of the night. I kept a faster pace than I had at Easton’s and finished 15th in my age category. Since my group included all 19-34 year olds I was satisfied with that placement. Jason, on the other hand, was fixated on achieving the type of satisfaction that only comes from a full belly. He finished 1st in his age group and was awarded a golden brain. He was pretty excited about his win; I didn’t know the reanimated could be so animated.

Doing two races in one day was a nutty plan but it certainly wasn’t our first ill-conceived scheme and I hope it won’t be our last. Besides Jason’s calves being practically useless the next day and my ankle being a little stiff and swollen we weren’t really any worse for wear though and since we both took home a medal maybe double events should be the new Sabin standard…or perhaps not.

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