Pottery, Archery, and Piracy

Posted by on January 2, 2018 at 1:03 pm :: No Comments

Sometimes life doesn’t turn out exactly as imagined. Some events aren’t as dramatic or romantic as anticipated while others are more remarkable than expected. Here are a few of our fall experiences that proceeded as predicted or as unpredicted.

Activity: The Cannon Ball

Expectation: Awesome

Reality: Awesome

It’s impossible for a steampunk pirate ball with vintage dancing not to live up to expectations.

I wouldn't actually make a good pirate; plundering goes against my core values.

I wouldn’t actually make a good pirate; plundering goes against my core values.

Activity: Archery Tag

Expectation: Fun and Energetic

Reality: Fun and Tragic

We invited everyone in my family to play archery tag with us one evening, including all our nieces and nephews. I learned a few things about myself and the world during this strung-out activity. It turns out, my family as a conglomerate isn’t particularly skilled with bows. We lost most of our games against another family consortium.

Our tag team was rather ragtag.

Our tag team was rather ragtag.

You know those wrist guards that Legolas wears? Well, I guess they are for more than just elven frills. Midway through our tag session, I wacked myself with my bowstring while shooting. It hurt, and I instantly grew a goose egg on my forearm that looked ready to hatch. A few days later, half my arm turned a sickly shade of green. My Dad walked away from the affair with a similar limb wound.

With a few insignificant differences, I am remarkably like the heroically-flawed figures of myth. Eons ago, an arrow hit Achilles’ foot, his weak point, and everything fell apart. Playing archery tag, an arrow hit my foot, my weak spot, and everything fell apart. (Sure, I didn’t slay Hector, and I wasn’t exactly a champion of the Trojan War, but I’d say those are pretty insignificant differences.) Just minutes before our time in the arena was up, a guy on the opposing team saw my foot sticking out from behind a barrier and decided to target it. This wasn’t just any of my two feet though, it was the foot I had tendon surgery on years ago. His arrow flew, hit that surgery spot spot-on, and hurt me like hell. (Sorry, I can’t edit that last comment; the pain was too real for censoring.) Jason heard a loud smack and then a wretched scream. Play stopped, and I hobbled off the field. I held back my tears though; I’m tough in my flimsiness like that. My ankle swelled up so badly I had to elevate and ice it that night. I could barely walk for a couple days, and I couldn’t run for a week and a half. D#mn puniest point!

My ankle inflated after getting shot.

My ankle inflated after getting shot.

Activity: Wheel-Thrown Pottery

Expectation: Ghost

Reality: Course and Clumsy

It's really easy to misalign your clay blob and form a wobbly mess.

It’s really easy to misalign your clay blob and form a wobbly mess.

As a gift to Jason, I purchased a month of wheel-thrown-pottery classes for the two of us. He envisioned a Ghost-esque experience, but it ended up being more like a 2nd-grade art class. You know, making misshapen blobs that only your mother could pretend to love. At least that’s what Jason would tell you, but I was pretty pleased with our creations. I enjoyed the classes enough that I signed up for another month of them with my mom. She and I had a great time working clay and forming rookie pieces together.

Despite Jason's protestations, most of our pottery pieces turned out satisfactorily.

Despite Jason’s protestations, most of our pottery pieces turned out satisfactorily.

After another month of pottery lessons, the quality of my creations... stayed about the same.

After another month of pottery lessons, the quality of my creations… stayed about the same.

Life isn’t terribly predictable. Excitement and drama don’t always pop up in the places we envision. Yet, pop up they do.

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