I think it’s safe to say that Halloween is our favorite holiday. Jason and I love reveling in the spooky. We’ll hit all the prowls of the season, from the corn mazes to the haunted houses, if time permits. Unfortunately, time does not usually permit much. October is often a crazy month for us due to our Halloween party and so our explorations of the spine-chilling are limited but we do typically manage to squish in a couple of creepers.
Besides throwing a party here’s how we celebrated the scary this year:
First, we went to a scallywag soiree. The owner of the company that Jason works for puts this on every year. The soiree always has spectacular special effects, yummy catering, and, of course, a whole lot of swashbuckling. Among Jason’s coworkers this party is the stuff of legends. It’s rumored between them that the guy that designed the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland was commissioned to make the ghostly wreckages, firing cannons, and creepy crypts for this event. While that is quite possibly true, the props are of a quality that I could believe it, I will not present that information here as fact since hero-worshiping myths run rampant where this owner is concerned. But no matter who actually designed the decorations, they are certainly impressive.
Our pirate costumes were made by yours truly five or six years ago. They’ve gotten the most use out of any of our getups.
Jason and I had a great time at the soiree even though we spent a large part of the evening waiting in one line or another. The number of attendees was capped at 500 yet that’s still a lot of buccaneer hats and bellies to fit under one roof. But hey, when you’re with friends even waiting in line is a bash.
Adam and Jeremy Rowley work with Jason now so we had quite the bunch of scurvy blaggards to party with.
Jason and I also conspired to have our own private Halloween celebration after our party was out of the way. We decided that this would take the form of a dreadful dinner. Our plans to cook and relax at home, it turns out, fit perfectly with Jason’s plans to be sick. The morning after our party Jason’s exhaustion had turned into infection and he could barely talk. Poor guy. But there are few things that some eyeball taco salad and boo beverages can’t fix. Jason’s appetite for the eerie was not lessened by his illness and he ate more gruesome grub that night than I did. Eyeballs: they do a body good.
We had eyeball taco salad, boo beverages, and oozing chocolate cakes for our fiendish feast. I think I might need more practice eyeballing it.
And that brings me to our memorable visits to the cornfields and chainsaw guys…or not. We didn’t make it to any of the other places we love to get spooked out in. We had too many spider webs to hang I guess. Sad. But our limited free time still afforded a little fright, some wicked delight, and a Halloween that was reveled right.
October is a time of sacrifice and supplication for us. We sacrifice our fingertips to the pushpin gods and plead daily with the muses of dreadful décor just to entertainment you. Yes, Halloween for us means throwing our customary gigantic party and all the work that that entails. We put our lives on hold in order to deck out two floors of our house for this shindig. We start arranging prizes, ordering medals, and sewing costumes as early as August. It’s a massive job. What is wrong with us?
Jason and I dressed as Zuko and Katara from The Last Airbender this year. Unfortunately, I forgot to wear the betrothal necklace I spent a lot of effort making perfect. What a dummy.
Medusa was the centerpiece of our front room. We made sure she had plenty of snakes in her lair including a striking rattler.
This year marked our thirteenth time attempting this task. In honor of that woeful anniversary let me share some startling party stats that might have you screaming in disbelief or not screaming in incomprehension. Since the collection of decorations we use for our party varies slightly each time these stats aren’t necessarily exactly representative of every year but they should give you an idea of the magnitude of our undertaking:
The normal number of attending guests? 35-70. This year we had 66; that’s close to a record.
The adult to child ratio at our party? The number of kids in attendance annually increases at a rate proportional to the proliferation of offspring but right now about 38% of our guests are children.
The number of Rubbermaid storage bins used to stow our decorations? 24. We also have quite a few cumbersomely-large items that just won’t fit in containers.
Jason’s sister Carley walked away with the prize for best costume with her amazing Bender outfit.
The average amount of time Jason and I spend on party preparations? This year in the week before our bash alone we spent roughly 35 hours apiece arranging cobwebs, designing creepy scenes, creating a custom playlist, optimizing lighting, and removing our normal furnishings. Since there are two of us that means that 70 man-hours of labor went into those finishing touches. Keep in mind that that’s about a third of the complete time we consumed getting ready for this thing. So if I had to guess I’d say that we’re looking at something in the ballpark of over 200 hours in total prep. That does not include the time it takes to clean up and take down everything so add on another 50 hours, which makes 250, and you’re probably close to our entire time investment. Would you put that much effort into a gathering that only lasts a few hours? I think not. That’s what makes me and Jason so special and so stupid.
The last couple years the number of players has exceeded our stash of Bingo cards so sharing has been necessary.
Jason did a great job creating his Zuko scar with latex, tissue paper, and cream makeup only he put it on the wrong eye.
The number of strings of lights hung? 73. Yes, just putting up the lights for our party takes an enormous amount of time.
The number of ravens? 39. Jason’s a sucker for the crows.
The number of rats? 11. That’s a tragically small number. Who called the Pied Piper?
The Browns had great Toy Story costumes for which they won a prize.
The number of candlesticks? 39. Most of these are battery or outlet powered. Open flames, little kids, and Jeremy Rowley: that sounds like the makings of my own personal horror movie.
The number of pumpkins? 25. From the friendly to the sinister these are a Halloween necessity.
The number of skulls? 89. No, that is not a typo.
We were a little concerned that this hanging creeper might be a bit too much for the small tikes but I didn’t hear any screaming so I guess it was alright.
The number of tea lights? 28. Tea lights are essential to generating a spooky atmosphere while simultaneously creating focus on specific areas.
The number of eyeballs? 97. You were being watched.
The number of creepy cloths? 28, some of which are over 16 feet long. That amount does not include the yards and yards of cheesecloth we use every year. It would be too hard to tally up our cheesy bits because we use dozens of pieces in every room.
The final frontier of costuming.
The way I arranged the mantle this time might possibly be my favorite of any year.
The number of bats? 38. You can’t create creep without suspending some rodents.
The number of camouflage nets? 14. Jason loves these. I think he would form a swamp in our basement too if I’d let him.
The number of spiders? 52. You can never have too many spiders.
The number of batteries used? 88. It literally takes us half an hour to turn everything on before our party and even then there are always a couple lights or devices that get forgotten.
All three of the Rowley kids went home winners.
The number of creative geniuses behind this affair? 2. Okay, so we may not be creative geniuses but forming a unique atmosphere every year is quite the originality challenge. We never display our eerie decor the same way twice and that makes arranging everything significantly harder. My brain hurts just thinking about it. Jason and I are either ambitious or ludicrous…probably both. We do make one fantastic duo though. We keep working at the spookifying together until it’s done. We don’t get ornery with each other and we don’t slack off. I couldn’t make it through this madness without Jason and he definitely couldn’t do it without me. We are the best team ever!
Tonya and Abigail made a bewitching pair.
The festivities this year were another success. We had nearly a record number of attendees and a greater throng of kids than ever. My thanks to all of you that were part of that large mass of humanity. It’s rewarding to hear that so many of your children look forward to this event like they were waiting for Santa Clause.
Fran won a prize for her imaginative interpretation of a ladybug on a leaf.
And the costumes this time? Fantastic. I’m amazed at some of the things you people came up with. We had Totoro, Bloo, La Forge, and Bender present. The competition was pretty cutthroat so anyone that won should definitely take pride in their victory.
At our party Captain America finally reunited with his girlfriend Peggy Carter. I don’t think he was expecting her to have aged backwards though.
I’d like to shout out a big thank you to the kind individuals that aided in the maintenance of our sanity. Becca and Nicole assisted us during the party. Awesome! And Cameron, once again, came back after his kids were dropped off to help us sort out our kitchen disaster. Also awesome!
This mummy hand was one of the few new editions to our decor this year.
I’m not sure how my mom convinced my dad to don red yarn.
Owing partly to that help our event didn’t make us completely crazy but, days after the festivities, Jason and I are still totally exhausted. Yet we have a whole lot of take down and pack up left to do, which will probably take us weeks to finish. We survived another huge party production though and I’m pretty sure that some of you enjoyed yourselves at our shindig. So I’d say that at least a few of the ridiculous number of hours we spent on our gathering were justified. Two hundred and fifty though? Maybe not.
It’s common knowledge that Jason and I are a little crazy so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that we signed up to run two 5Ks on the same Saturday. While our decision to do what some would categorize as “sort of stupid” shouldn’t astonish any of you, the outcome of that borderline stupidity may shock everyone a little. I’m still a little flabbergasted myself.
When we found out a few weeks ago that one of Jason’s coworkers was organizing a race to help pay for the expensive specialized school his autistic child, Easton, attends we were onboard even though this 5K fell on the same day as another race we had already signed up for. I guess either our hearts are bigger than our brains or we are just idiots beyond reason.
Abigail and I were proud of our medals. We may not have outpaced too many people to get them but we outpaced enough.
Easton’s 5K was a small event with a little less than 100 runners involved but it was well organized. Some of our fellow R.A.C.ers, Jeremy Rowley and Abigail, tackled it with us and Jeremy brought his 10 year old boy Milo too. It was Milo’s first race ever and for a little kid that doesn’t exercise regularly I thought he did great. Sure, Jeremy had to give him a piggyback ride at one point and Milo totally collapsed in the grass right after he crossed the finish line, but he didn’t give up so good job Milo!
I didn’t push myself too much while moving along this course. I knew my next race was just hours away so beating some land speed records wasn’t part of my agenda. That’s why I was shocked when I found out that I had actually won 3rd place out of all the women. Abigail, who was about 30 seconds ahead of me, took 1st. I think she was equally surprised. I’m still not exactly sure how we pulled it off but somehow I’m now no longer a total loser.
Milo only made it a few feet past the finish before he crashed in the grass. He was feeling sickly after his uncustomary exercise.
Jason and I had signed up for our second 5K of the day, the Night of the Running Dead, months ago. We participated in this event, which is a nice mix of horror and health, last year. You can either run it as a zombie or a human. Humans get a 2 minute head start and then the zombies are let loose on them. Pretty awesome, right? Jason and I again opted to represent the undead. Zombies are trendy and disgusting so kind of wonderful in our book.
Last year’s undead race had some organizational challenges. It took place in the middle of a toasty afternoon plus the route, with its morphing loops, was anyone’s guess. But we liked the creepy concept so we wanted to give this run one more shot. Unfortunately, all of the friends that joined us last year weren’t as forgiving. The fear of resurrecting the combination of sweltering temperatures and confusion that made them feel like they really were the living dead in need of brains kept them from registering. Jason and I had faith though that the past would not be revived and we were right. We thought this year’s race was fabulous and I believe the thousands of other participants would agree with us.
We didn’t use latex to putrefy ourselves this year because last time our sweat pooled underneath those patches transforming us into even fouler creatures than we had anticipated. But I think we still fit the part without it.
The run started at 9:00 PM, 9:02 if you were a zombie. It could have been freezing by that time in the evening but instead it was perfect. What a pleasant night for an apocalypse. Before the start we were shown news clips of the infection that led to the reanimation revolution. The clips ended with a report that the president had ordered the bombing of Salt Lake City due to its raging zombie infestation and then all of a sudden fireworks exploded representing that airstrike. It was rather cool.
More entertainment was in store for us after we headed on our way. Our route went through some residential areas and many of those residents came outside to watch the hordes of corpses sprint past. Some of them even brought out their lawn chairs like the throngs of scampering carcasses were part of a glitzy parade. It made me chuckle. We were also greeted along our path by some professional zombies ranging from the wandering to the menacing. They added another element of spookiness and fun.
Jason found his golden brain quite satisfying.
I thought I might be sluggish and all tuckered out during this race seeing as it was my second one of the day but the refreshing evening air and the power of my vile disguise propelled me forward. I guess I really am a creature of the night. I kept a faster pace than I had at Easton’s and finished 15th in my age category. Since my group included all 19-34 year olds I was satisfied with that placement. Jason, on the other hand, was fixated on achieving the type of satisfaction that only comes from a full belly. He finished 1st in his age group and was awarded a golden brain. He was pretty excited about his win; I didn’t know the reanimated could be so animated.
Doing two races in one day was a nutty plan but it certainly wasn’t our first ill-conceived scheme and I hope it won’t be our last. Besides Jason’s calves being practically useless the next day and my ankle being a little stiff and swollen we weren’t really any worse for wear though and since we both took home a medal maybe double events should be the new Sabin standard…or perhaps not.
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