Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing

Salt Lake City is famous for its obnoxious religious uniformity and its fantastic snow. Not exactly the type of place you’d expect to find one of the best soccer teams in the world. But I can safely say, with a self-assured cocky grin on my face, that it is.

The Real Salt Lake became a MLS team back in 2004 and in just 5 short years they succeeded in winning the MLS Cup championship. I know it’s impressive but prepare yourself for further wowing. The Real, due to their MLS win, was invited to participate in the CONCACAF champions league, an international competition between the world’s best ranked teams. They miraculously beat out other contenders and made it to the finals for the champions league title, something an American team had never managed. A couple games versus Monterrey, a Mexican challenger, was all that stood between them and total supremacy. They tied the first of their two finals matches against Monterrey 2-2, which left them in excellent shape for claiming the title. Although they had already made history by progressing to the finals, we, along with other soccer fans in Utah and around the nation, were eager to see them crush the Mexicans and continue onto the club world cup. Their last finals game was at Rio Tinto stadium in Salt Lake City so Utahans had a rare opportunity to be a part of something spectacular.

Jason and I painted our faces in honor of the Real and convinced most of our friends to do the same. We are instigators of the awesome.

Jason and I were itching  to be in the stands cheering our team on at this second, and last, finals game but we didn’t know if that would be possible since Rio Tinto stadium only seats about 20,000 people, not nearly enough for an event of this magnitude. Luckily, Jason’s brother Jeremy is a Real season ticket holder and with that comes certain perks like getting a dozen of your friends seats to a hot game before the general public can buy them. Good thing because the public ended up not even having the chance to purchase tickets; they were sold out long before it came to that.

Jason's brother Jeremy is Real crazy...obviously.

Jason and I are so glad we didn’t miss out on this most awesome of matches. I have been to quite a few Real games over the years, and I have enjoyed every single one of them, but this was something else. The stadium was electrified! Energy seemed to bound and echo off the stands of passionate supporters becoming an ever intensifying wave. The attendees were a mix of hardcore Real fans and first time game goers yet everyone seemed to understand the significance of this match and they were all intent on making their presence count. The stadium was a sea of red and no one even seemed aware of the chair behind them; there wasn’t a butt in a seat to be found.

When the Real players took the field the crowd erupted into deafening cheers and confetti rained down in all directions like the deluge of fluttering ash from a paper volcano. It was beautiful and it was only the beginning. Onlookers kept up their focus and fervor throughout the game. At one point I glanced around at the crowd and noticed that so many of the spectators were hopping or jumping about that the stands looked like a massive ant hill swarming with busy insects.

Jeremy brought his kid Milo to the game. Milo seemed to really enjoy it. He gorged himself on cotton candy and dumped confetti on everyone; I'm sure that increased fun levels.

Despite their screaming fanatics, the Real couldn’t quite pull off a victory and they ended up losing 0 to 1. Monterrey scored right before the end of the first half and sadly the Real was never able to catch up, although they made an incredible number of attempts on goal. The Real played great even if they didn’t win and I think I echo the sentiments of most of their fans when I say that I am still very proud of what they accomplished. After all, they reminded the world that Utah is home to more than just crazy polygamists…it’s also home to hordes of red-faced screaming soccer loonies.

Easta Feva

For most of us, the mere mention of Easter conjures up fond memories of egg hunts, fancy dinners, or new dresses. Easter is definitely awesome when you’re a kid but who says children get to have all the fun?

Every year my family does an Easter egg hunt for my nieces and nephews. This event is always a hit. After a group of the adults has hidden everything the kids rush outside in stampede style and dash around the yard looking for the goodies. It’s a very similar experience to the charging of the bulls except I’m pretty sure not all of my nieces and nephews have horns. Jason and I contribute an extensive amount of toys and candy to this cause, more than the kids’ parents actually, because we want it to be a fun tradition for the youngsters. Amongst many other things, we hide three golden eggs filled with money; the kids go nuts for these babies. Considering the rage these eggs inspire you’d think they were made out of real gold not cheap Chinese plastic. If only I was so easily impressed than Jason’s pocketbook would probably be in a healthier state.

The kids were eager to be let loose. Miles waited impatiently for the marching orders with his basket at the ready.
Wesley loved the hunt. He wouldn't hold still long enough for anyone to transfer his findings from this awkward bag to a basket.
Benson found one of the golden eggs far too quickly. That clever boy!
Isabelle didn't quite understand the concept of the hunt but with a little coaxing she started putting candy in her bag. Kids seem to pick up on how to horde sweets pretty quickly.

The kiddies’ hunt is a great yearly ritual but Jason and I have started another one we also quite enjoy. The last two years we have gone snowboarding on Easter. We have found that the crowds are usually sparse and the sunshine prolific on this holiday so it’s a great time to hit the slopes. This year Easter happened to also be the last day of the season for Brighton Resort so in addition to finding ski bunnies (literally) on the runs we saw Captain America, a wizard, cowboys, numerous strange animals, and a plethora of drunkards. Ah, the end of season craziness! Anytime a resort’s parking lot is filled with raucous groups of people having barbecue parties and boarders are riding down the mountain while playing the bongos you know it’s going to be a fantastic day!

Captain America boards. Who knew?
Brighton's Easter bunny's task of handing out candy didn't deter him from hitting the slopes a bit.

I love traditions but I’m also a big fan of surprises. That’s why this year I decided to also do something a little out of the ordinary and have Jason hunt for his Easter goodies like the little kids. I hid 11 items, ranging from comic books to candy, in 2 rooms of our house and made Jason seek them out. It took him 35 minutes to find those 11 things, and that’s even with numerous hints. Although he wasn’t much of a seeker he did seem to enjoy finding nothing slowly. The funniest thing about Jason’s hunt is that I actually hid all of his prizes 2 days in advance while he wasn’t home. I was banking on his lack of observation to keep them concealed until Easter. It worked fabulously; Jason has too much code floating around in his brain to notice his surroundings.

I gave Jason juvenile prizes to increase the authenticity of his hunt.
Jason wasn't a skilled hunter but he did eventually find all of his prizes.

We had a great Easter. Watching kids go crazy for candy is always a hoot and any holiday spent with Jason is a pleasure.

The Con

Some of you may have heard of a little get-together called Comic-Con; it’s just a small gathering of over 100,000 of the world’s biggest geeks. Even if you haven’t been living in a cave long enough to know about Comic-Con, surely you have heard of RowleyCon. RowleyCon is an illustrious multiday event where the geeky 1337 are invited to work up a gaming sweat (deodorant optional) and compete for uber status. It’s sure to become the hottest thing on the nerd radar since D&D.

Our friend Jeremy Rowley is a gaming aficionado extraordinaire and he decided that instead of going to Comic-Con he was going to bring the Con to him. He and his wife Amber hosted a weekend teeming with everything nerd: board games, Star Craft II, DDR, Dance Central, and even some classic Nintendo games.

a nerd dressed as Batman
Not underwear on the head...but close. This brilliant, yet somewhat disturbing, Batman costume was all my idea but I still have to give Jason props for having the confidence to wear it.
A nerd party without Star Trek is like a Klingon without a bat'leth. I wore my Starfleet uniform on Friday so this get-together wouldn't be lacking an essential ingredient.

Since competitions were held in every gaming category, and used to determine not only each division’s champion but an overall mega geek, I decided I had better become somewhat familiar with all of these geeky pursuits so I could at least lose at RowleyCon with dignity. My desire to not be the suckiest led to Jason teaching me how to play Star Craft II. I had never played this game before last week but he taught me enough that I could give the impression that I knew what I was doing as I lost miserably. To be beaten gracefully was all I was hoping for; I seriously doubted I had the sweet skills necessary to win a round. But somehow, despite my minimal aptitude, I did manage to whip Jacob’s Terran hinny during the tournament even though he owns this game. (No Jacob, the force is not with you.)

Jason was also undefeated at DDR...until he played me. Wahahaha!
Jeremy is a DDR head. Good thing I didn't have to go head to head with that head or I wouldn't have ended up ahead.
Jacob wasted everyone at Duck Hunt. I'm glad he didn't play every game as pathetically as he played Star Craft.

There was one competition that I definitely didn’t need anyone’s assistance training for: Dance Dance Revolution, AKA DDR. While I am certainly no expert at this game, the hardcore DDRers would step all over my face, I can dance dance good enough to impress the easily wowed. I ended up winning the DDR competition undefeated. Good thing Jeremy excluded himself from the contest; that boy is unnatural when it comes to DDR. I never would have beaten him.

On Saturday Jason and I both dressed in a steampunk motif. Jason made a pretty great airship captain.
It only took some slight modifications to turn my Halloween costume from last year into a steampunk masterpiece.

My esteemed teacher, Jason, won the Star Craft tournament. He technically got second place but the first place winner, Adam, won the title of uber nerd making him ineligible for a Star Craft winning too. Surprisingly, I actually gamed my way into a close second place for overall nerd. Dang that Adam! If only I had been proclaimed the biggest geek in the world then I could have retreated to Valinor satisfied.

Andrew beat me, Jason, and Simone at Dominion. Maybe being the world's slowest Dominion player has its advantages.
The Small World contest was intense. I believe Adam's races slaughtered the other contenders.
Jason's brother was very popular with the Rowleys' cat. I think Mel wanted to live in his beard.

Even if I didn’t vanquish all the other gamers at least Jason and I won the prizes for best costume. The competition was really tough…okay, so Jas and I were the only ones that dressed up and consequently we could have just worn underwear on our heads and won…oh wait, that’s pretty close to what happened-just kidding. Although tighty whities may have been involved we actually did put together some pretty cool costumes at the last minute using pieces of costumes I had made previously and a few new accessories. With a little creativity we each ended up with two different outfits so we could wear unique attire on both nights of RowleyCon.

Jason's goggles made his big blue eyes look bigger, brighter, and bluer...and totally screwball.

RowleyCon was a little chaotic, with an abundance of tournaments going on simultaneously and sometimes haphazardly, but it was a lot of fun. It was also very refreshing not to be in charge of this party; being guests instead of hosts was a nice change. We are looking forward to geeking it up again next year. You nerds are going down!