The Con

Some of you may have heard of a little get-together called Comic-Con; it’s just a small gathering of over 100,000 of the world’s biggest geeks. Even if you haven’t been living in a cave long enough to know about Comic-Con, surely you have heard of RowleyCon. RowleyCon is an illustrious multiday event where the geeky 1337 are invited to work up a gaming sweat (deodorant optional) and compete for uber status. It’s sure to become the hottest thing on the nerd radar since D&D.

Our friend Jeremy Rowley is a gaming aficionado extraordinaire and he decided that instead of going to Comic-Con he was going to bring the Con to him. He and his wife Amber hosted a weekend teeming with everything nerd: board games, Star Craft II, DDR, Dance Central, and even some classic Nintendo games.

a nerd dressed as Batman
Not underwear on the head...but close. This brilliant, yet somewhat disturbing, Batman costume was all my idea but I still have to give Jason props for having the confidence to wear it.
A nerd party without Star Trek is like a Klingon without a bat'leth. I wore my Starfleet uniform on Friday so this get-together wouldn't be lacking an essential ingredient.

Since competitions were held in every gaming category, and used to determine not only each division’s champion but an overall mega geek, I decided I had better become somewhat familiar with all of these geeky pursuits so I could at least lose at RowleyCon with dignity. My desire to not be the suckiest led to Jason teaching me how to play Star Craft II. I had never played this game before last week but he taught me enough that I could give the impression that I knew what I was doing as I lost miserably. To be beaten gracefully was all I was hoping for; I seriously doubted I had the sweet skills necessary to win a round. But somehow, despite my minimal aptitude, I did manage to whip Jacob’s Terran hinny during the tournament even though he owns this game. (No Jacob, the force is not with you.)

Jason was also undefeated at DDR...until he played me. Wahahaha!
Jeremy is a DDR head. Good thing I didn't have to go head to head with that head or I wouldn't have ended up ahead.
Jacob wasted everyone at Duck Hunt. I'm glad he didn't play every game as pathetically as he played Star Craft.

There was one competition that I definitely didn’t need anyone’s assistance training for: Dance Dance Revolution, AKA DDR. While I am certainly no expert at this game, the hardcore DDRers would step all over my face, I can dance dance good enough to impress the easily wowed. I ended up winning the DDR competition undefeated. Good thing Jeremy excluded himself from the contest; that boy is unnatural when it comes to DDR. I never would have beaten him.

On Saturday Jason and I both dressed in a steampunk motif. Jason made a pretty great airship captain.
It only took some slight modifications to turn my Halloween costume from last year into a steampunk masterpiece.

My esteemed teacher, Jason, won the Star Craft tournament. He technically got second place but the first place winner, Adam, won the title of uber nerd making him ineligible for a Star Craft winning too. Surprisingly, I actually gamed my way into a close second place for overall nerd. Dang that Adam! If only I had been proclaimed the biggest geek in the world then I could have retreated to Valinor satisfied.

Andrew beat me, Jason, and Simone at Dominion. Maybe being the world's slowest Dominion player has its advantages.
The Small World contest was intense. I believe Adam's races slaughtered the other contenders.
Jason's brother was very popular with the Rowleys' cat. I think Mel wanted to live in his beard.

Even if I didn’t vanquish all the other gamers at least Jason and I won the prizes for best costume. The competition was really tough…okay, so Jas and I were the only ones that dressed up and consequently we could have just worn underwear on our heads and won…oh wait, that’s pretty close to what happened-just kidding. Although tighty whities may have been involved we actually did put together some pretty cool costumes at the last minute using pieces of costumes I had made previously and a few new accessories. With a little creativity we each ended up with two different outfits so we could wear unique attire on both nights of RowleyCon.

Jason's goggles made his big blue eyes look bigger, brighter, and bluer...and totally screwball.

RowleyCon was a little chaotic, with an abundance of tournaments going on simultaneously and sometimes haphazardly, but it was a lot of fun. It was also very refreshing not to be in charge of this party; being guests instead of hosts was a nice change. We are looking forward to geeking it up again next year. You nerds are going down!

A Manly Cure

Boys have feet; that is a generally accepted fact. Almost equally accepted is the belief that boys’ feet are usually in need of some hygienic or cosmetic care. Many women complain that their man’s feet are too dry, stinky, or hairy; toe nails that are ridiculously long or unruly seem to be another common grievance. The stench of man hath no cure but have you men ever considered getting a pedicure to fix everything else? I’m guessing probably not.

For some reason nearly all men are under the impression that they are far too manly to get a pedicure. To that I say, first of all, that you aren’t nearly as manly as you think you are and secondly, having feet as coarse as sandpaper does not enhance your manliness. Just ask your lady if she would like to get cozy with your gritty, cracked, neglected stumps; I think you know what her answer will be.

Last Saturday my sister-in-law and I went to get a pedicure at my favorite pedicure place, The Clique, and my little brother Drew, either because of some wifely pressure or simply because he was sick of having feet like Frodo Baggins, came with us.

It's a tough life. Drew had to relax in a chair and submit to being pampered. It's no wonder that so many men avoid similar torture.

So was it enormously straining on him to sit in a comfy chair while someone massaged his furry legs and meticulously scrubbed his feet until they looked like they actually belonged to a human? Not surprisingly, the answer is no. He relaxed and read a book while he was being spoiled and sanitized, not a real book of course but a book that was loaded on his cell phone. This combining of the nerd world and the world of hygiene didn’t cause a warp core breach; so yes, you men can be geeky and groomed and even geeky while being groomed without fear of losing your containment field.

More of you chaps should follow Drew’s lead. You won’t come away from a pedicure with glittery red toenails-unless that’s your heart’s desire. Would it be so bad to have feet that are clean and pampered and don’t scream neglect? What’s so feminine about that?

Southern Hospitality

I only have one set of grandparents still living and their home is deep in the heart of rural Mississippi. They used to travel across the country every year to visit their grandkids here in Utah; it was a much anticipated reunion. Unfortunately, my sweet grandpa suffered a stroke last summer so driving thousands of miles isn’t in the cards for him right now. Since they couldn’t come to us, and we hadn’t been down to Mississippi for four or five years, we decided it was definitely time we paid them a visit.

It was so nice outside that we decided to relocate our card game to the backyard. After moths of relentless Utah winter I couldn’t get enough of that sweet southern sunshine.

We didn’t “do” much while we were in the South. We spent most of our vacation chatting, going on walks, playing cards, watching movies, and eating. But doing “nothing” with my grandparents was a pleasure, especially with a warm sun shining overhead. The weather was extremely pleasant the whole time we were down there, even by Mississippi standards. I couldn’t resist wearing shorts even though my legs are currently a shade so pale they almost look lavender.

Part of my grandparents’ 5 acres is covered by a dense forest. It takes some persistent efforts on their part to keep that wilderness at bay.

Those of you who haven’t visited the Deep South may not fully appreciate just how different the culture is there. Complete strangers wave at you as you drive by them or stop for a chat as they drive by you, trailer houses are almost as common as non-portable homes, time seems nonexistent because no one pays attention to it, English sounds very foreign and sometimes it’s undecipherable, practically everything is fried, even the tiniest of towns seem to contain innumerable churches, and everyone’s enormous yards look like they are in constant danger of being reclaimed by the dense woods bordering them.

My grandparent’s took us to their favorite restaurant: The Pickle Barrel. There we ate a variety of fried fare including my favorites: catfish and hushpuppies.

It’s a unique place with a flavor and heritage all its own. Speaking of flavor…the South is all that when it comes to catfish, hushpuppies, cornbread, or carrot cake topped with fresh pecans from the yard. Those southerners know how to cook and I know how to eat so we get along alright.

It was an overdue visit and I’m so glad we finally made it down. Mississippi may not the center of sophistication but it’s home to some pretty fantastic grandparents and some pretty fantastic catfish.