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The Glitz and Glamour of Science

If there is a word that means “beyond famous” you can look that word up in the dictionary and see a picture of me.

I’ve been giving lectures, along with various other SCC board members, to chemistry students at universities around the state. The latest of these presentations was at BYU in honor of national chemistry week.

Somehow this lecture landed me and Ryan, my co-presenter, an invitation to appear on a live talk show called Insight with Jon Du Pre that is broadcasted on BYUTV. Yes, I did say “live” as in lots of opportunities for blurting out baffling responses that cannot be edited into coherency.

Jon Du Pre was a very friendly fellow. I guess talk show hosts do need to be easy to talk to.

Ryan and I agreed to be on this program without really knowing what to expect. Apparently we should have counted on some nerves, a little mayhem, and a whole lot of blush.

As soon as I arrived at the studio I was whisked into makeup. My look was glamorized, or depastified rather, with seemingly endless layers of foundation and eye shadow. It was a lot more than I would normally wear; it was probably a lot more than the average hooker would wear. And I wasn’t the only one that got obligatorily prettied up, Ryan was powdered and primped too.

Becoming pretty took a while. One of my friends told me I looked like a geisha with my makeover. I'm still not sure if that was meant as a compliment or an insult.

After our beautification we did have a little time to prep for the interview while waiting in a holding room but most of what was discussed during that wait didn’t make it into the program. So much for being ready. I’m sure you’d never guess watching our segment, which was brimming with witty technical repartee, that we were totally winging it. Never.

We discussed some cosmetic products in "the green room" while waiting for showtime.

The trickiest part of being on live TV was pretending that you weren’t on live TV. Ignoring all the teleprompters, the cameras focused on you from every possible angle, and the multitude of timing apparatuses while trying to quickly give intelligible responses was a little daunting. We pulled it off pretty well though. I didn’t fall off my stool or start spouting incomprehensible Rachel blabber. The fool I made of myself was not complete so I’d say my expectations were exceeded.

The studio was a little cramped with cameras swinging all over the place but there was enough room for all of the guests, plus Jason, to huddle in a corner and watch the filming.

If you want to witness my attempt to sound scientific, but not too scientific, while encased in a nearly impervious makeup shell check out this link: http://byutv.org/watch/c449c4ee-47ae-4c82-b495-33ca37670906

Rachel November 4, 2011 No Comments

Parks and Saints

Jason and I just had a super crazy week. You know, one of those weeks where you don’t bother unpacking your suitcase from one trip because you will just be leaving again on another excursion a few days later and your house somehow becomes a shrine to clutter even though you’ve been home so scarcely that it doesn’t seem possible that you could’ve had any effect at all on your living space.

We stayed in cottage #7 this year. It was right on the green so Jason got a kick out of watching golfers throw tantrums when their shots went awry.

We spent the beginning of our week in Park City for the Society of Cosmetic Chemists’ annual scientific seminar and golf outing. This event followed its usual format: lectures and dinner the first afternoon and golfing the morning after. Jason typically tags along when I head up to this gathering. He doesn’t golf and he doesn’t get to eat with me and the other scientists at Ruth’s Chris so why is he so eager to go? I know that boy loves me but I think his enthusiasm for escorting me to this function has more to do with the lavish cottage suite at the Hotel Park City that he gets to lounge in while I am off with my fellow chemists than my entertaining personality. These cottage suites are spacious and swanky and go for well over a $1000 a night during Park City’s peak season. With a private patio sporting a gas fireplace and Jacuzzi, it’s easy to see why people are willing to shell out the dough for these accommodations. Luckily, we got a great deal through the SCC’s group rate so we got to enjoy the hotel’s splendor for relative pocket change.

Our suite had its own private patio equipped with a fireplace and Jacuzzi. We sat out there sipping sparkling lemonade from fancy glasses while the brilliant night sky captivated us.
My golf team had the misfortune of being stuck with me. I pity the fool!
Jason decided to go mountain biking at Park City Resort while I was out golfing. Without my voice of reason he got exceptionally lost and ended up on some pretty treacherous terrain. What's pictured here is not that treacherous terrain but a lovely meadow he came across somewhere in the middle of it all.

A few days later we were off to St. George to attempt to see The Little Mermaid again at Tuacahn with Jason’s parents. Those of you that regularly follow my blog may recall that we got rained out when we tried to watch this show in July. We had decided to make a special trip to St. George just to give seeing this production one more chance because we had heard so many impressive things about it. As fate would have it, however, another thunderstorm was right on cue to ruin our fun again. Geez Luis! I would have been majorly disgruntled if we had driven 4 hours solely for the purpose of seeing this show but once more hadn’t been able to finish it. Fortunately, although the weather was constantly on the brink of causing havoc during the performance, the lightening that endlessly illuminating the sky to our northwest never moved in on us. It wasn’t until we were walking back to our car after the show that the heavens let it all loose. Disaster narrowly averted! And the musical was great, with some pretty creative special effects, so it was worthy of our second try.

Scuttle, the bird-brained seagull, was dressed in a full flock of feathers. What a great costume!
Heidi Anderson, who played Ursula, did a fantastic job. She was just the right combination of wicked and witty.
King Triton was a tall fellow; lengthy Jason appeared shrimpy next to him.

Although our retreat to St. George was quick, and we spent more of it driving than anything else, all that car time did allow us to chat with Sue and Keith quite a bit. And since we not only got to watch all of The Little Mermaid but also grab breakfast at The Bear Paw I’d say that it was a trip well spent. (The Bear Paw serves terrific French toast stuffed with brulee cream; I’d highly recommend gorging yourself on it.)

What a busy week spent traveling all over tarnation! But hey, between the green slopes of Park City’s summits and the red cliffs of Tuacahn we got a whirlwind tour of some of the best scenery in Utah not to mention the delight of great company and the pleasure of cultural enlightenment.

Rachel August 31, 2011 No Comments

Salt Lake City Has Brains!

When we were in San Diego a couple weeks ago we were startled to find ourselves in the middle of a sudden zombie invasion. Hundreds of walking dead began ambling down the crowded sidewalks of 5th Avenue one day as we were heading back to our hotel. It was unsettling and amusing all at once. (For a clip of the footage we took refer to my Comic-Khan post.)

Jason's brother Matt and Matt's friend Tabatha were our zombie compadres. And no, I am not normally that pale though it it's probably debatable whether painting myself various shades of grey made a significant difference in my skin tone.

Upon our return home we were surprised to hear that a similar event would be taking place in Salt Lake City just a couple weeks after the one we witnessed in San Diego. Since we are dorks extraordinaire we couldn’t miss this unique opportunity to get our undead stumble on.

I had never dabbled in latex before so I was pretty proud of my initial attempt with this arm wound. Not too shoddy for a first timer.

Jason’s brother Matt and a couple of his friends joined us, and the roughly 2,000 other zombie walkers, for a mile and a half lurch around downtown Salt Lake City last Sunday. What a fun and crazy activity! This horde of corpses, which overflowed the sidewalks for blocks, closely resembled your worst nightmare. We came across many astonished bystanders whose apparent anxiousness only encouraged chasings by rouge zombies. Being among the army of monsters, in contrast to being on the menu, may seem like it would have been a relatively untroubled experience but it wasn’t as carefree as you might think.

The undead horde was waiting here to be released from Pioneer Park.

First of all, I wasn’t anticipating a little decomposing flesh and some oozing wounds turning me into a celebrity. Disgusting must be “in” because there were cameras everywhere. The vacant sneers of us maggot magnets were always met with flashes and glaring lenses…and sometimes screams. Man, if I had known the paparazzi were going to be swarming I would have worn my more fashionable tattered shirt and styled my rotting hair.

Looks like something you'd see in a post-apocalypse city; a chilling reminder of humanity's violent end.
My favorite detail of Matt's costume was his hair accessories: dead leaves adorned his ratty crown. Just what you'd expect to find on the head of someone fresh from the grave.

Secondly, shuffling through post-life may seem like an almost relaxing pursuit, I know we flesh-gnawers make shambling slowly look so easy, but let me assure that dragging one of your limbs behind you in an unnatural fashion and hanging your atrophied arms like limp fish as you stagger over the ground at a maddeningly sluggish pace is anything but comfortable. I’m certain this is why many of the undead gave up on maintaining their swagger as we neared the end of the course. I never relinquished my grotesque authenticity and I had the backache afterward to prove it.

Jason was an eager brain-seeker. He liked to spook those we passed with a lively chase or a menacing groan.
The streets of downtown were literally dripping with blood after our masses staggered through.

Besides the clumsiness and awkward notoriety, being a zombie was also frustrating because your terrified quarry often jumped into trees or over fences as easy as nibbling a toe. How are you supposed to get some brains if holding your rigid arms out in a useless fashion is the most offensive move in your arsenal? What’s a poor hungry zombie to do?

Tennis shoes, a race t-shirt, sweatbands, and a Walkman: how ironic that a runner couldn't escape the clutches of a lumbering zombie. Why didn't someone warn me that it's not a good idea to wear headphones when running in traffic or when the world is teeming with the undead?
This little girl was freaky with a leash around her waist and a brain in her mouth.

So before you start feeling sorry for yourself, and all of those other tasty humans, consider the zombies’ plight. If you tried hobbling a mile and a half in their putrid shoes you might have a little sympathy for those ghouls. After all, most of them probably have a permanently kinked neck and a rumbly tummy. No wonder they’re grouchy; we all know how low blood sugar can affect your outlook on life.

Rachel August 10, 2011 1 Comment
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