I was recently asked to serve as the secretary of my chapter of the SCC. So what is the SCC? Society for Claustrophobic Clowns? No, it’s the Society of Cosmetic Chemists. I know that name sounds nearly as fictitious, but the SCC is a legitimate scientific organization.
The Society of Cosmetic Chemists is composed of professionals that formulate cosmetics, sell ingredients with which to formulate cosmetics, or are involved in the processing of cosmetics. We aren’t nerds, we are just eccentric scientists – and no, the two aren’t synonymous.
The society meets every month or two for lunch and a lecture. You might hear some of these comedic gems at one of our get-togethers:
Why did the bear dissolve when he jumped into the water? He was a polar bear.
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, iron, and nickel? A KNiFe.
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
I know at least a few of you out there are tempted to laugh right now. It’s okay, go ahead. And yes, that does mean that you are a geek – just accept it.
This is me and my fellow chemist Thao. She was on the photo brigade with me, which unfortunately meant that she had to tolerate my inability to drive a golf cart. We had a great time laughing together though.
Every August the SCC has a golf outing. I usually skip this event because I have absolutely no golf skills. (Sorry Dad, I know you tried.) However, since I am now a SCC officer, and needed to assist in the preparations for this gathering, this year I came as a non-participant. I was more than happy to perform random tasks rather than golf. Amongst other things, my secretarial duties included driving a golf cart around to take pictures of all the teams. Sounds grueling doesn’t it? It turns out that my golf cart driving skills are a little subpar. (Pun intended.) But the sunshine was divine and I didn’t run anyone over – the day was a success!
Will being the SCC secretary promote my nerdyness to the next energy level? One can certainly dream.
And my wise advice to all you non-geeks? Remember the SCC next time you hear about some bizarre sounding group. Don’t simply dismiss them as fantasy. If we exist, they probably do too.
Jason and I went to Las Vegas last weekend to geek it up at DefCon. For those of you who aren’t nerdy enough to understand the significance of DefCon, let me enlighten you. DefCon is the largest hackers’ convention in the world. It takes place every summer in Las Vegas. Now I know what all of you are thinking because it’s exactly the same thing I was thinking when I first heard of DefCon. “Really? There’s a convention for hackers? To teach them how to hack better? Really? Is that legal?” The answer to all of those questions is yes.
Me trying to mimic the DefCon poster. Am I doing a good job at looking menacing?
Yes, every summer over seven thousand of the nerdiest people you’ll ever meet converge on Vegas in 111 degree weather to learn how to improve their computer hacking and lock picking skills. Yes, really. The conference isn’t attended by just hacking bad guys or “black hats” though; geeks like Jason go to keep up on hacking trends in order to maintain their status as network security superstars.
They had a display at DefCon of ridiculously old computers. This monstrosity was the biggest.
Despite the caliber of geeks this conference attracts, not all DefCon goers look noticeably nerdy. There are plenty of guys there that look completely ordinary. But, there are also a considerable number that do not. These not-so-normal attendees I like to call “feral geeks”. These are the guys with long greasy hair that pick their noses unabashedly and look like they’re wearing twenty-year-old leftovers from high school that probably weren’t even fashionable back then. These are the guys that probably still live in their mamma’s basement and consider showering optional.
Though those of the female persuasion are usually highly outnumbered at DefCon, I decided to brave it and be among them. I know this acknowledgement will expose me as the geek I am, but admittedly I did not just attend this conference to humor my husband. I also went because I am a curious person. I like to know how everything works and am eager to learn, even geeky hacking knowledge falls under my umbrella of curiosity. I actually enjoyed most of the presentations I listened to – I know, I know, that makes me an even bigger nerd. I happily learned about computer crime law, malware mess-ups, and cyber warfare. Surprisingly, only one presenter baffled me with his technical details, the others I didn’t have any difficulties understanding. Yes, yes… I am a geek.
While DefCon isn’t much different from other scientific seminars in many ways, there are a few things about it that are a bit on the peculiar side. For one, the presenters can often be seen guzzling bottles of beer during their lectures, instead of water. And anytime they spout profanities, which happens frequently, the crowd inevitably cheers.
Even the DefCon badges are designed with microchips to render them hackable. Check out this link to view the awesome nerdery: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/08/hacking-the-defcon-17-badges/
Beyond just the idiosyncrasies of the presentations, the atmosphere at DefCon is unusual. There’s a lock picking village where you can improve your ability to break and enter. Doesn’t seem legal does it? But strangely it is. Intelligent attendees absolutely avoid getting on the internet while at DefCon. Any laptop or phone linked into the DefCon network is hacked nearly instantaneously. Conference fees can only be paid for in cash; credit cards are not accepted. The organizers of this convention understand that if they allowed attendees to pay with credit cards, many of them would be fraudulent and all the card numbers, legit or otherwise, would probably be stolen from their system anyway, via hacking of course.
Brawndo: it's what plants crave.
Another DefCon oddity is the presence of the feds. Agents from just about every federal organization come to DefCon. They come in part to spy and in part to recruit. They’ve realized that although some of these hackers use questionable means, many of them are exceptionally talented. The feds try to blend in at DefCon, go unnoticed for the most part. But it is not unusual to hear accusing shouts of “Fed, fed!” radiating randomly from an attendee if they believe they have spotted an agent.
Although DefCon is immensely entertaining, Jason and I didn’t just geek it while in Vegas. We took some time to watch a Cirque du Soleil show, Mystére; it was beautifully done. We also squeezed in a little shopping and a bit of gambling. After all, Vegas is just a hot desert dustbin without those slots.
We met up with our friend Lee while in Vegas. Here we are being Star Trek geeks.
My DefCon analysis? Hot, foul, nerdy, interesting, peculiar, amusing. DefCon is an absolutely unique and bizarre experience. I definitely recommend that all you coding monkeys check it out.
Have you often pondered what the offspring of two totally nerdy programmers and a geeky attorney would look like? Well now I have the long awaited answer to that burning question!
After a lengthy and difficult labor the brainchild of Jason, my brother Drew, and our friend Jeremy Rowley came into the world today. Like many proud parents they named this child soon after its conception months ago: LebWinks.
Jason and Drew were so intent on programming their beloved site that they consented to doing it in our freezing unfinished basement in the middle of winter. What can I say, they wanted to program early on Sunday morning. I didn't want to be woken up, on my one day a week to sleep in, by the sounds of geekery.
Here’s the skinny on this child of genius:
LebWinks is a social networking site of sorts. I know, I know, as if the world didn’t have enough of those already. But LebWinks, as would be expected from its unusual parentage, is unique. Say you found an amazing website you would like to share with your buddies, well LebWinks provides a nearly effortlessly way to do so. You can share your favorite websites with your friends on a real time basis while keeping to yourself whatever sites you deem “private”.
Jason, Drew, and Rowley have been toiling away on this project for over a year now and thanks to lots of hard work, brainpower, and caffeine, it has finally been released. Way to go boys!
Please join us in welcoming their new arrival. Come check out the geeky awesomeness that is LebWinks at LebWinks.com. Just remember, since this is a newborn it has a few kinks that still need to be worked out – it’s not potty trained quite yet – but it’s fantastically incredible anyway. So visit LebWinks.com and bring the LebWinks joy into your life!
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