No holiday elicits polarized feelings like Christmas. To some, it is the epitome of what a holiday should be. To others, it is a piece of crap wrapped in pine-scented wrapping paper. I find it amusing, genial, and nostalgic when handled appropriately. This year, it fell mostly into the non-poo category for Jason and me.

I remember those unencumbered days when I’d have Christmas presents wrapped for Jason before Thanksgiving; I didn’t want the tree to be up for a moment without gifts underneath it. I’ve remedied that issue in recent years by not erecting our tree until embarrassingly late. Now, when I don’t wrap any presents until right before Christmas, no one is the wiser… except the whole world since I just tattled on myself.

Don’t let the lateness of my presenting mislead you though, I don’t believe in just throwing random present at people. I generally put thought and time into what I give. Amongst my gift projects this Christmas, I made a nerdy tree skirt for my sister-in-law even though Jason technically had her name. I also went through hundreds of pages of archived Nintendo Power Magazine searching for the article that featured Jason and his grandma years ago. This proved futile as he was never actually highlighted in this publication. The myths that become part of our childhood memories are many. Don’t revisit yours with the realities of adulthood or you will only be disappointed.

Jason did not fail Father Christmas with his gifting. For me, he tied seven handwritten poems to seven presents with connected themes and recited these rhymes as I opened the gifts. He read me everything from Lord Byron to Data’s “Ode to Spot” and even an original composition. I think I’ll keep that boy.

For all the nieces and nephews on my side, we created a puzzle collage highlighting the outing options they could choose between as their present from us. They had to put together this 252-piece puzzle before we would discuss any plans with them. It proved, as expected, the perfect undertaking to keep them busy and focused while the adults unwrapped gifts from each other. They picked the Labyrinth for their activity, and we challenged ourselves in its corridors a week later.

The Labyrinth wasn’t our only family-fed excursion in the days following Christmas. We took one nephew to the Museum of Ancient Life and played laser tag at Boondocks with a couple others. These happenings were made easier by our lack of regular obligations. Over the holidays, Jason and I didn’t work for more than a week. What was not made easier by our lack of obligations was our sleep schedule. We quickly started staying up between 2:00 and 4:30 AM every night. My body managed this sleep shift until the last couple days of it… and then it went batty. My eyeballs hurt for a week. That’s what you get Rachel for making bad slumber choices.

Christmas, you may be misunderstood and overstated, but you are definitely not a piece of dung decked in lights and topped with a candy cane.