Science fiction is my favorite entertainment genre, which is why I gobble up good sci-fi faster than the Crystalline Entity chomps organic life. Therefore, it should shock no one that Jason and I are Firefly fans, tasty sci-fi to be sure, and count ourselves among the rough and nerdy followers of that series commonly referred to as “Browncoats.” Also not surprisingly, we opted to attend the Browncoat Ball in Salt Lake City this fall like others with similar tastes in outerwear.

The Browncoats put on a national shindig annually that happened to be in Utah this year. Even though I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect from this event, I signed us up. After all, sci-fi is all about going daringly into the unknown and I am nothing if not daring… except when it comes to small places, high places, germs, swift water, sun exposure, meat, insects, crooked lines, movie gore, and so forth.

Not only did we decide to attend the actual ball, a black-tie evening full of great food, singing, heists, auctions, and dancing, we also opted to do a day activity with some of the Browncoat crew, a three-hour outing on the Heber Creeper. Yes, clearly a reference to “The Train Job.”

The Heber Valley Railroad, AKA Heber Creeper, runs from Heber to Vivian Park in Provo Canyon primarily on the power of steam locomotives over 100 years old. We had never gone through Provo Canyon on these bygone tracks before so we thought we might as well give it a whirl with some Firefly friends.

The Heber Creeper has been accurately named, in case you are wondering. Our train definitely crawled unhurriedly but the scenery we passed was pretty and we had a shiny time chatting with a group of people, most of them out-of-towners, with whom we had an instant commonality.

I’m glad that exploring unusual pursuits with strangers does not intimidate me. Perhaps I am ready now to journey to the stars or tackle touching food without washing my hands.

Spring is the perfect season to suck in stale air, to sit in the shadows, to gorge on Funyuns while strategizing how to take over the world… it’s the perfect time for RowleyCon. Coincidentally, spring is also the perfect time for graduate school to ruin the perfect time for RowleyCon.*

This April, our friend Jeremy again hosted a weekend-long tribute to all things geek. Videogames, board games, anime, cosplay, and nerdy crafts all had a rightful place at this affair, as did I. However, school, the enemy of free time, inhibited my undivided appreciation of the chaotic masterpiece that is RowleyCon. Drat my needy education!

Jason and I won the costume contests at RowleyCon again this year but no one else dressed up so it would have been literally impossible for us not to. Yippee! We achieved first place… and last. Yet, assembling different sets of costumes both Friday and Saturday was kind of an accomplishment in of itself.

For college claims most of my innovative energies these days, leaving little oomph for other original endeavors. My brain still has a few tricks up its nodes though, tricks to bypass school’s creativity tax. I thought of a new steampunk-pirate-ensemble idea as I was drifting off to sleep the night before RowleyCon, something with a little Middle Eastern panache that incorporated harem pants and Moroccan jewelry. Sometimes I think my noodle pulls fast ones on me during my waking hours and saves all of its good stuff for sleepy time.

Jason and I didn’t play too many games at RowleyCon. (Did you somehow miss all of those whiney comments about school?) We did undertake a little 7 Wonders and learned how to build Castles of Mad King Ludwig. Jeremy, of course, underestimated the amount of time needed to play Castles of Mad King Ludwig by about 5000% so we weren’t able to finish constructing our royal residences before the lateness of the night ended our stronghold struggles. (Only a crazy person would think they could erect a castle in half an hour.)

We also made meeples, which are personalized players’ tokens that can be used for just about any board game. This was probably the highlight of the con for Jason and me. I sculpted one meeple strutting the exact outfit I was currently wearing, which happened to be a Starfleet uniform. I also molded a slave Leia version of myself to go with the Han Solo that Jason crafted. I’m pretty sure my Leia could eat his Han for dinner and still have room for a Hutt; like me, she has a big head. Drew and Simone organized the meeple animation so thanks Drew and Simone!

And thanks Jeremy for putting up with a bunch of messy, kid infested, ungrateful gamers for an entire weekend. Despite my presence at RowleyCon, I’m afraid I’ll never achieve my 8^th-level potential. As carefully constructed as my schemes to take over the world are, I think school’s plot is much more liable to succeed. For graduate school is like a prestigious and unstoppable doomsday machine that sucks the energy out of the universe one assignment at a time. Funyuns anyone?

*I actually love school. But I also love a whole lot of other things too and school makes enjoying those other things nearly impossible.

Why, school? Why do you get in the way of me being a first-rate nerd? Aren’t you supposed to further my betterment? How can you stand for progress while hindering my cultural education?

Salt Lake FanXperience 2016 happened in March. I love having fantastic fan conventions in my quadrant. Normally, I’m engrossed in these things longer than the USS Bozeman was stuck in that time loop but I was mid-semester during this one so I couldn’t completely nerd out. Still, despite school being a downer, Jason and I condensed FanX rather effectively.

We went to a special presentation given by astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Hearing from someone who’d been to real space instead of plywood space was fascinating. We got a picture with Matt Smith and Alex Kingston while wearing full bowtie, attended some intriguing feminist panels, and went to a session on male cosplay so Jason could get a few tips on how to perform better. Data showed him how it’s done.

We attended the Doctor Who Ultimate FanXperience, which featured the Fifth Doctor, Seventh Doctor, Eleventh Doctor, and River Song this year. It was over an hour and a half of Doctors jabbing each other on their weird wardrobe choices and reminiscing about aliens. It was quite entertaining. We also witnessed our first FanX cosplay contest. This wasn’t trick-or-treating; it was the big leagues baby!

Moreover, something truly momentous happened at FanX this year. I acquired the last autograph for my ST:TNG cast poster. That’s right, LeVar Burton’s signature made my cast collection complete. I have arrived!

Hmmm… after some consideration, it would appear that I am still a first-rate nerd even if my master’s courses made it impossible for me to immerse myself in FanX like the Joker immersed himself in that vat of chemicals. Hey, I wore a Darth Vader dress and lightsaber earrings to one of my graduate classes just so I would be properly arrayed for FanX. That took some serious nerd balls; you know I’ve got big ones.