It’s funny how varied people’s responses are to the arrival of a new year. Some herald that annual transition with excitement and hope. To others, it means resolutions that are never kept and, to a few, it’s only a source of discontent because, after a short stay, it’s guaranteed that that “new” year will depart again leaving deeper wrinkles and bigger waistlines as parting mementos. I’m not one for resolutions. They never last and why wait for the year to change before implementing important changes in your life? There’s no time like the present. I’m also not among the mopers: those that look back at their accumulation of days with mournfulness rather than looking forward at the thrilling days still ahead of them with anticipation. There’s no time like the present. Thus, with that optimistic attitude, Jason and I awaited 2014 and celebrated its coming by attending two parties.

First, we visited the Rowleys’ and participated in the embarrassing and amusing tradition that is Killer Oompi. (It’s basically Speed Uno with penalties.) I only lost once but it was a big loss. I had to go through a very long spanking tunnel multiple times while singing my own version of “What Does the Fox Say?” to the snickering spankers. I bet you always wanted to know what the crab, iguana and narwhal say.

After Jason and I finished humiliating ourselves, we headed to Cam and Fran’s for a relaxed conclusion to our festive evening. Those assembled feasted on ice cream and went way down memory lane with old high school scrapbooks.

Many thanks to those that hosted gatherings that night. We gratefully welcome our few chances to be the party guests rather than the party throwers.

All in all, it was a very satisfying changeover into the new. Hello 2014! I know you’ll only be around for a bit but we’ve still got three hundred and forty-something days to rock this planet together so let’s get started. There’s no time like the present.

It was a dark and stormy night…

Who doesn’t chill and thrill at the thought of Halloween? The morbid decorations, the piles of candy, the ridiculous costumes: it’s a lighthearted play on our inevitable demise that few can resist. For Jason and me, the bulk of our Halloween experiences revolve around the colossal party we throw but we always try to cram in a few extra morsels of seasonal fright when we’re not engrossed in entombing our home for that affair. This year we went to the scarier side of Cornbelly’s with our friends Adam and Abigail, yo-ho-hoed with the rest of the scurvy blaggards at a pirate gathering and made some delicious fall fixings for a distinguished gorging.

While at Cornbelly’s with Adam and Abigail, we did lose ourselves in a corn maze, go on a hayride and watch pigs race but we were mostly fixated on the sinister side of agri-entertainment: Insanity Point. This dark corner of Cornbelly’s is devoted to spooking with several different haunts. There, amongst its ominous stalks and creepy stalkers, we let terror take hold and maliciously amuse us. We all had our moments of undignified apprehension. Adam often tried to convince Abigail to take the lead as we wandered shadowy passageways but instead she followed so closely behind us that she got stepped on or smacked every time one of us backtracked in fear. Yes, each of us shrieked that night but the highlight of my evening was hearing Jason scream like a little girl when one of the Big Top Terror clowns startled him good. It was glorious!

The Scallywag Soirée we attend every October is an elaborate pirate-themed party put on by a former employer. It makes our intensive Halloween get-together look like a pauper’s fling. This year’s swashbuckling bash held not only the usual delights of incredible props and heaps of food but also some extra creepies and crawlies. Scorpions, tarantulas and all manner of constricting serpents were brought in for the fondling. I’m not really too fond of fondling slithering beasts but I did it anyway. Time to face your fear little girl!

Cooking a spooky fall feast with Jason is always one of the highlights of my October. We have a blast making tasty food look disgusting. This year’s menu included: hearty pumpkin curry soup, witches’ fingers pretzels and cinnamon-sugar apple donut bites. Yum! Homemade pretzels, it turns out, are quite time-consuming to create, especially when they have to be shaped into digits, but our meal was delicious and grotesque.

Our own party haunts us every October but Jason and I usually slip away from that mayhem within to enjoy the chaos without a little. Between crawling through disgusting haylofts, dashing from chainsaws, caressing creatures and baking fingers, I think we had a pretty good run with chaos this year. We do always strive to remember the true meaning of Halloween: death and candy.