A Race Case

Despite what they tell you, slow and steady doesn’t usually win the race. With that in mind, I present to you the strange case of my rise from the dregs of race mediocrity. I will share last summer’s asphalt battles, their outcomes, and the perplexing questions that they leave unanswered. Then, perhaps, you will fare better than I at unraveling the mysteries of this counterintuitive tale.

The first race of the 2014 season, for Jason and me, was the Thanksgiving Point Tulip Festival 5K. This event took place at the end of April but the weather felt more like February. Unusual chilliness combined with relentless moisture to create a vortex of sopping unpleasantness along its entire path. I dripped through the finish line at 29:39, coming 6th in my category, an unimpressively run-of the-mill conclusion to be sure. Jason placed 5th in his group at 23:14.

Although it was almost May, the Thanksgiving Point 5K was quite cold and wet.
Although it was almost May, the Thanksgiving Point 5K was quite cold and wet.

Color Me Rad was our next 5K but it wasn’t timed so we’ll never know if we sprinted or sauntered through it, though I suspect the later. Then, we ran the Lehi Roundup 5-Mile in June. We both somehow managed to rank 2nd in our respective Roundup divisions with a time of 48:41 for me and 37:59 for Jason. Sadly, they only gave out medals to the 1st-place winners so I got no bling for what I thought might be my only victory forevermore.

In August, we did the Midnight Moon 5K in Sandy. I sped it up to 29:18 for this race and Jason slowed it down to 23:32. These times were good enough for 2nd place in my division and 1st in Jason’s. Another 2nd place for me? How was that possible?

The crowning achievement of our 2014 racing careers transpired in October. I guess I dash better deceased because I booked it during the Night of the Running Dead 5K, dressed as a zombie, and finished in 26:33. Jason crossed the line at 21:32, 5 minutes before me. In full disclosure, our reanimated muscles weren’t the only reason for these curiously-quick outcomes, the course was slightly shorter than a true 5K. Undersized route or not, our paces secured us both 1st place in our categories.

Our nephew, Jadon, participated in the kids run at Thanksgiving Point, despite the rain.
Our nephew, Jadon, participated in the kids run at Thanksgiving Point, despite the rain.

Why all the wins? What’s in my secret sauce? (Jason’s sauce is no trade secret.) I’m certainly not a fast runner, as my race times verify, so I’m a little perplexed over my fresh success. I didn’t enter a new age category this year so I can’t blame the other old farts. Is the world slowing, making me seem swifter by comparison? Alas, I’m afraid my sauce will forever be spiced with enigmas.

While I’d love to be a running superstar with the trophies and medals to prove that I’m the non-rodent equivalent of Speedy Gonzales, my legs aren’t really onboard with that. Consequently, I’m not sure how to make my recent triumphs fit into my philosophy of the universe. Can slow and steady truly win the race more times than can be accounted for by flukes? Maybe when the 2015 racing starts I’ll find out.

Desert Pursuits Part II

Oddly, although the temperatures were rather cool in Moab, we spent the afternoon, following our Dinosaur Stomping Ground Tracks excursion, in a Fiery Furnace. The Fiery Furnace is an area of Arches National Park that’s covered in a labyrinth of towering sandstone fins. There are no paths or signs in this region and access is limited to special hiking permits and ranger-led tours. We’ve been trying to join one of these tours for years now but tickets are hard to come by. Finally, this time, success was ours!

Beyond this slit, three arches awaited.
Beyond this slit, three arches awaited.

The Fiery Furnace was impressive and worth the wait. Our three-hour expedition involved discovering quite a few arches, crawling through cracks, hopping over fins, and wedging up steep rock. It was fantastic! It’s easy to see why searches/rescues happen in the Fiery Furnace every two weeks on average though. Getting lost or breaking a limb would be simple in that sea of crevices.

We hiked down fins, over fins, and up fins in the Fiery Furnace.
We hiked down fins, over fins, and up fins in the Fiery Furnace.
Skull Arch is among the Fiery Furnace's numerous surprises.
Skull Arch is among the Fiery Furnace’s numerous surprises.

We finished our hiking day with what should have been a quick jaunt to Eye of the Whale Arch, which is also in Arches National Park. This arch is accessible via a short hiking trail that juts off a 4×4 road. Although only about two miles of four-wheeling is required to reach the arch’s footpath, it’s a rough enough journey to discourage all but the hardiest of off-roaders…and my too-assured husband.

The Fiery Furnace is both roomy and squishy.
The Fiery Furnace is both roomy and squishy.
The Fiery Furnace frequently required crab walking and undignified scampering.
The Fiery Furnace frequently required crab walking and undignified scampering.

Jason suggested that we check out Eye of the Whale and was convinced that our Forester could handle its bumpy access road. I, on the other hand, remained thoroughly unconvinced. Clearly, if I’m taking the time to convey this story in great detail, I was right but let’s proceed as if you don’t already know that.

Trekking through the Fiery Furnace felt like an adventure.
Trekking through the Fiery Furnace felt like an adventure.

Jason’s confidence bested my caution and off to Eye of the Whale we went. A little over a mile in, the road traversed an extensive wash area where it had been so distorted by the intermittent flow of water that our mighty Subaru seemed unavoidably destined for High Centerville. Yet, Jason remained irrationally undaunted. We made it halfway through the washy patch before he finally realized that, as ever, my assessment was correct. However, because we were surrounded by steep embankments, we ended up having to drive backwards for quite a ways to a point wide enough for turning around. Going forward was bad enough, trying to navigate in reverse was completely unsettling.

Balanced Rock, the size of three school buses, is just one of Arches many wonders.
Balanced Rock, the size of three school buses, is just one of Arches many wonders.

After all that, there was no way I was missing Eye of the Whale so we parked our car and trekked the last bit to its trailhead on foot. Eye of the Whale was pretty cool and provided great views through its opening of Herdina Park, the western section of Arches. So, at least, this ill-conceived outing wasn’t a complete flop.

Eye of the Whale is "fishy" on one side. This isn't that side.
Eye of the Whale is “fishy” on one side. This isn’t that side.

During our return drive, a souped-up Jeep passed us. Its passengers were plainly concerned about our ability to make it out. They made sure we cleared one particularly brutal hill before continuing on their way. The moral of this story? Wives should be heeded at all times. They are infallibly wise and always right. Don’t agree? That’s because you’re wrong.

Jason loved Intrepid's constantly changing surface.
Jason loved Intrepid’s constantly changing surface.
Intrepid just kept dishing out the awesome.
Intrepid just kept dishing out the awesome.

We spent our last day in Moab biking the Intrepid Trail System at Dead Horse Point State Park. Intrepid offers seventeen miles of mouthwatering singletracks. It provided us with nonstop delights, from its breathtaking and intimidating panoramas of Canyonlands National Park to its twisting joy of a path. While biking nine miles on the Big Chief, Great Pyramid, and Raven Roll Trails, we took in the Colorado River from 2,000 feet up and raced through playful rock gardens and undulating grasslands. Dead Horse Point is a mountain biker’s dream, a dream I hope to have again soon.

The views from Intrepid are unbelievable and worthy of pause.
The views from Intrepid are unbelievable and worthy of pause.

Oh Moab! No praise could ever overstate you, no frilly vocabulary could ever adequately describe you, and no amount of visits could ever make you commonplace. Between your stunning scenery and diverse diversions, you will forever remain one of my favorite spots on earth.

Desert Pursuits Part I

Moab is a biannual habit for Jason and me. We’ve made spring and fall trips to its scarlet cliffs and exhilarating trails for many years now. Yet, Moab still surprises us with its thrills and resilient splendor. I offer our latest escapades as proof.

Klonzo's trails zig through hillsides of burning red.
Klonzo’s trails zig through hillsides of burning red.

We chose the early part of November for our Moab adventures this fall. It was a touch chilly but I’d take a jacket over the touring hordes any day.

Klonzo contains a variety of terrain, from boulders to sand.
Klonzo contains a variety of terrain, from boulders to sand.
Jason recently bought me a new bike. I love it but its giant tires and unique frame threw me for a loop a few times at Klonzo...or almost over my handlebars.
Jason recently bought me a new bike. I love it but its giant tires and unique frame threw me for a loop a few times at Klonzo…or almost over my handlebars.

Our first afternoon in Moab we biked Klonzo. Klonzo is a series of singletracks built in 2012 by the BLM. We didn’t even know it existed until we were heading down to Moab this time. At the last minute, we decided to give it a try and hallelujah for that! We relished our not-too-technical romp on its Borderline, http://www.cheapambienpriceonline.com Wahoo, and Cross Canyon Trails, winding through fiery knolls and over unyielding slickrock. We only made it five miles before pricking rain sent us pedaling back to the trailhead in a hurry but those 26,400 feet were glorious!

Jason requested some stomping at the stomping grounds.
Jason requested some stomping at the stomping grounds.

The following morning we hit another new path, this time on foot: the Dinosaur Stomping Ground Tracks. This trail leads, as its name suggests, to an area of slickrock covered with an abundance of dinosaur footprints. The route is only three miles in total and gradually ascends over meandering tongues of stone, making both the journey and its endpoint a lot of fun.

Dinosaur tracks are stamped everywhere at the Dinosaur Stomping Grounds.
Dinosaur tracks are stamped everywhere at the Dinosaur Stomping Grounds.
Jason, for some reason, really enjoys taking pictures of me taking pictures.
Jason, for some reason, really enjoys taking pictures of me taking pictures.

Next week I will divulge the details of the rest of our Moab outing. There will be blazing boilers, 4×4 slipups, and lofty ledges galore. It’s sure to be everything you’d ever want in a post about a trip you didn’t take.