Tour de Riverton (Men Suck)

Jason felt a little left out when I biked Goldilocks a few months ago since he was prohibited from participating in this ride because of his obvious lack of femaleness. I therefore decided to sign us up for a coed ride called the Tour de Riverton so his tired muscles could convince him that he never needed to feel like he was missing out on anything ever again.

Ive never heard so much clicking in all my life.
When the ride started all of a sudden hundreds of bikers connected their fancy biking shoes to their pedals. I've never heard so much clicking in all my life. It made me laugh a little.

The Tour de Riverton, a 25 mile ride, took place bright and early last Saturday. Although this event, like Goldilocks, was “noncompetitive” the presence of men had the obnoxious effect of making it a lot less laidback than Goldilocks. Sorry men, sometimes your competitive intensity is simply not cool.

Jason too had a hard time quelling his urge to beat out whatever guy happened to be pedaling next to him but I made it clear from the start that if he decided to turn this ride into a race he was on his own and I would just continue to mosey along at my own pace and enjoy the lovely morning. I guess my husband does love me because he wasn’t too tempted to leave me to meander the course by myself. He’d say he wasn’t tempted at all but I know better.

The course followed a lot of the same paths as Goldilocks did, which was okay with me
The Tour de Riverton course followed a lot of the same paths as Goldilocks, which was okay with me because Goldilocks went through some rather scenic farmland.

My critique? Although I got to spend nearly 3 hours biking with my sweet husband during the Tour de Riverton and I enjoyed it, I liked Goldilocks better. Goldilocks was so chill and relaxed. You could tell the participating women weren’t there just to bike; they were also there to hangout and socialize with one another. When men were added to the mix for the Tour de Riverton who was ahead of you seemed to become far more important than who you were riding with. What can I say men, sometimes you suck.

It’s a Long Story

My father is in his 60’s but he definitely doesn’t have the mentality of the typical 60 year old. A few weeks ago he expressed interest in getting a longboard, which is basically a longer faster version of a skateboard that’s meant for speedy cruising rather than doing tricks. We were all a little surprised that my dad wanted a longboard but not too surprised. After all, he is into paragliding and long-distance running and he claims that he would get a tattoo and pierce his ears if he didn’t have to look presentable for clients.

Jas with his new Never Summer longboard
Jas with his new Never Summer longboard, the board he finally FINALLY decided he wanted.

My family collectively decided that a longboard would be a great Father’s Day gift for my Daddy-O. Since Jason used to be into skateboarding when he was a young fry he was nominated to pick out this present. This afforded me the chance to scheme up a subplot of my own. For years Jason has said he would love to try longboarding if only he had someone to go cruising with. Now that my dad would have a board, and thus Jason would have a boarding buddy, I decided that it was time to get Jason his long-desired longboard. So when we arrived at Milo, our favorite board store, ready to shop for my dad I informed Jason that in addition to picking out a board for my father he would be picking out one for himself. He was surprised but very excited about this plan. We spent an hour and a half perusing Milo’s boards and changed our minds over and over again about which ones we liked best. But eventually we came to a decision… mostly because the store was closing so we had no choice.

Although I am still a very non-graceful learner
Although I am still a very non-graceful learner, Jason is the one that has already taken a spill. I guess even the klutzy get lucky sometimes.
Girl
Girl's rock! I've already named my board Blue Fin. It's an Arbor Fish Koa and it is awesome!

Despite how long it had taken Jason to choose a board for himself that night, by the next morning he already had plans to go back to Milo to exchange that board he had so laboriously selected. Yes, Jason’s decision making skills are on par with a politician’s. What I didn’t know was that Jason was not just vacillating, he was also scheming. He bought me an early birthday present when he went back to Milo to swap boards: a longboard of my own. He kept this board a secret for a few days until we were going to take his board out on its maiden voyage. That’s when he pulled my new board out of the dark recesses of his extremely chaotic closet. I was completely shocked! I’m pretty good at sniffing out Jason plots but I didn’t see this one coming.

All but one of my siblings came to my parent
All but one of my siblings came to my parent's house on Father's Day. We had a lot of fun riding around the neighborhood lake on our respective vehicles.
My dad the sk8er boi
My dad the sk8er boi

Jason and I have already taken out boards out a few times; they are a blast! We especially enjoyed going longboarding with my dad on Father’s day. Since all the members of my family were in on the gift many of them brought their own wheeled contraptions to my parent’s house knowing that my dad would probably want to try his new board out. My brother brought his waveboard, my sister and her fiancé brought their skateboards, and my nephew Jadon even brought his scooter. Another nephew, Miles, didn’t bring a traveling device of his own but he was fascinated by the longboards. He was very eager to ride them and we had a hard time getting him to get off even when he scraped up his knee and elbow.

Don
Don't the boys look cool with their board props?

What a peculiar boarding gang we made! I’m sure we got some strange looks from the people walking by our odd group. It’s not every day you see a cluster of young kids riding scooters and scooting on boards alongside adults that look far too old for such hooligan activities.

Miles became an instant fan of the boards. He did
Miles became an instant fan of the boards. He didn't even notice when he scraped up his knee a bunch while he was riding one. He was having too much fun to pay attention to a little bleeding.
My sister Kristen and her fiance John held hands as
My sister Kristen and her fiance John held hands as they skateboarded. It was very cute but I am quite certain that if I tried to do something similar with Jason our romantic cruise would end abruptly when I fell off my board and onto the pavement.

I should warn the unsuspecting that the desire to longboard is like an insidious disease that spreads with shocking rapidity. My dad simply mentioned that he wanted a longboard and then all of a sudden Jason and I had one. And the boards continue to mysteriously mushroom among my family members; my sister’s fiancé John is now toying with the idea of getting one and I’m sure if Miles didn’t have a paranoid mother he would find some way to obtain one as well.

Arches, Bluffs, and Canyons

Jason and I just got back from Moab. We had a great time, as we always do when we visit that region.

Blue skies and red rock: Moab is gorgeous!
Blue skies and red rock: Moab is gorgeous!

We took our mountain bikes down with us and tested them out on the demanding paths to Klondike Bluffs and Hidden Canyon.

The entire desert seemed to be in bloom. Surprising bunches of red, pink, yellow, and whited dotted the landscape.
The entire desert seemed to be in bloom. Surprising bunches of red, pink, yellow, and white dotted the landscape.

The Klondike Bluffs trail took us over some pretty steep slickrock, which was lined with prehistoric dinosaur tracks, to the bluffs high above Arches National Park. It was a fantastic and tiring ride.

Do you see that grin on Jason
Do you see that grin on Jason's face? That comes from speeding over delicious slickrock at a dizzying rate.

Our journey to Hidden Canyon turned out to be more eventful than anticipated. The wind was in a foul humor that day. It rampaged as we tried to climb over the slickrock, pelting sand into our faces and adding another layer of difficulty to our ascent. Not only did we have to work much harder to pedal against the wind, we also had to struggle to keep our bikes stable as the persistent gusts threatened to blow us off our precarious trail. We weren’t entirely successful in this ongoing battle. As I was traversing some tricky rock the wind literally knocked me and my bike over. That cunning wind! Jason was more than willing to give up at that point but I wasn’t about to let that obstinate breeze whip me. He was glad we had stuck with it when we reached Hidden Canyon though. We got to enjoy its spectacular fiery sandstone ebbs and precipices in complete solitude. The ride back from Hidden Canyon was a cinch. The wind that had made our outgoing trip needlessly difficult aided us on our way back. We flew over the slickrock carried by gravity and the turbulent air. A small cactus growing in the middle of the trail made for a temporary setback when I unknowingly stepped on it but after some quick needle removal we were on our way again.

Hidden Canyon was a stunning and chaotic blend of brillliant oranges and reds. We got to marvel
Hidden Canyon was a stunning and chaotic blend of brilliant oranges and reds. We got to marvel at its edge without a single being to disturb our awe.
Jason paused on our way back from Hidden Canyon to illustrate that he had conquered.
Jason paused on our way back from Hidden Canyon to illustrate that he had conquered.

We took a break from all that biking by enjoying an afternoon hiking in Arches National Park. The wind was our temperamental companion at Arches as well. It made the 90+ temps quite comfortable but we were relentlessly bombarded by airborne sand as we explored. Oh well, a little grit in the eyes and ears never hurt anyone too much.

Viewing the graceful and puzzling curves of Delicate Arch was worth facing the blasts of wind that rupped across the plateau it remarkably ascends from.
Viewing the graceful and puzzling curves of Delicate Arch was worth facing the blasts of wind that ripped across the plateau it remarkably ascends from.
Double Arch is one of my favorite spots in Arches
Double Arch is one of my favorite spots in Arches and it's as good of a place as any for Jason to act silly in front of the camera.
Balanced Rock is one of the many gravity-defying oddities at Arches. How does it do that?
Balanced Rock is one of the many gravity-defying oddities at Arches. How does it do that?
The North and South Window arches toegther form
The North and South Window arches together form "the spectacles" from their backsides. Jason whined a bit when I requested that we take the long way around so we could view them from this angle. Poor boy! How could a wife be so cruel?

It was a crazy and delightful trip! We returned home sunburned, sand burned, scraped, bruised, and exhausted. I got more banged up than Jason but he won the prize for the worst injury, a title he has held our last two visits to Moab. He managed to pull a back muscle somewhere in the middle of our hiking/biking frenzy and he has been hobbling around like a decrepit old man ever since we arrived home.