As much as I’d love to tell you about our exotic Valentine’s
Day celebration this year, in truth, we just watched some grubs and ate some
grub. That’s it. End of post? Fine, I’ll give you a few more details because you
asked so nicely even though they may bore you into a cyber stupor.
Since Jason and I spent most of our Valentine’s Day on a
plane in route to another continent, we decided to observe that holiday when we
returned from Africa. We were worn out from our world travels, so our
observance became more like an acknowledgment. We checked out the newly-opened Butterfly
Biosphere at Thanksgiving Point and then ate dinner at The Charleston Draper.
The Butterfly Biosphere isn’t as big as the Butterfly Wonderland in Phoenix, but it still holds many winged wonders.
The Butterfly Biosphere was filled with darting insects in a
leafy setting. The Charleston Draper was filled with sophisticated yet familiar
food in a classy setting. Both ecosystems were pleasant.
While you may have just dozed off during the 72 seconds it
took to read this post, we found these common revelries elating. After 53
inflight hours, nothing is quite as rousing as watching something else fly.
Our time at Ulusaba went quickly. Our last game drive took
us right up to when we needed to catch the first of our flights home. We just
barely had a chance to finish packing before heading to the airstrip. We did
not have time to take showers. Getting wet on our drive that morning didn’t
count because it made us more stinky, which is opposite what an ideal shower
should do. After about 10 hours in the Johannesburg airport and an 11.5-hour
redeye flight back to Amsterdam, we reeked in multiple ways. If our morning
breath didn’t get you, our safari funk would. It’s pretty sad when you think, Geeze, something smells foul in here,
and then you realize that foul something is you.
The Oude Kerk was built in 1213. This historic sanctuary sits in striking contrast amidst the Red Light District’s gaudiness.
We were really worn out and ready to be home, lengthy
showers didn’t change that, but we couldn’t waste a beautiful day in Amsterdam.
Even Jason’s earth-shattering sneezes from the cold he picked up in Africa
didn’t keep us from visiting the Oude Kerk and the National Maritime Museum.
This misericord features a woman gathering excrement from a man and is meant to illustrate the Dutch proverb, “Pull gently at a weak rope.”
The Oude Kerk, Amsterdam’s oldest building, is an unusual
church. Not only is it oddly placed in the middle of the city’s prostitution
district, but it’s uncanny down to its bowels. When we visited, its wooden
vaults were filled with a melodious cacophony. Ravens, melancholic rhythms,
bomber strikes, kitchen clinks, and forlorn voices combined and lapped us in wave
after wave of eerie composition. This din was provided by the Instrument of
Troubled Dreams, a bizarre art instillation featuring a mellotron that guests could
play. We lightheartedly created our own unsettling musical fantasies with this apparatus.
That wasn’t the end of the unexpected eccentricity we encountered at this historical
church though.
The Basilica of Saint Nicholas is much newer than the Oude Kerk. It only dates back to 1887.
The carvings under the folded seats in the Oude Kerk, known as
misericords, feature representations of Dutch proverbs. One would expect bland
depictions in an 800-year-old church, but some medieval craftsmen must have had
a rather crude sense of humor. Instead of revered characters and noble deeds, think
excrement. I jest not.
The original VOC Amsterdam shipwrecked on its maiden voyage in 1749. This replica hasn’t shipped enough to wreck.On the VOC Amsterdam, you can pull things, push things, and steer things.
After visiting the Oude Kerk, we walked to the National Maritime
Museum. We only had about an hour and a half to explore it before closing. We
spent the majority of that time discovering the replica of the VOC Amsterdam
and examining the Royal Barge.
The Royal Barge was built in the 1800s for a Dutch king. Royal barges were quite trendy at the time.
Perhaps Amsterdam was a fitting finish to our African journey.
Its crest does feature two golden lions, amongst other things, and this trip
was the shiniest gold lion we’ve ever received.
The National Maritime Museum is located in a building that was constructed in the 1600s and was once used by the Admiralty of Amsterdam.
For days after our return, I dreamed of Africa every night as my brain tried in vain to process the marvels we had witnessed. My memories of that wondrously untamed place remain vibrant yet otherworldly. Every once in a while, I have to remind myself that they are real.
I’ve already shared the wonders of our African adventures now let me share some wonderful logistical tips. I had a lot of concerns regarding our safari since I wasn’t sure what to expect or what precautions needed to be taken. It was way out of my comfort zone and sphere of knowledge. Now, I have a gumball-sized sphere of knowledge on the subject to share. Don’t worry, it hasn’t already been chewed.
I should point out that these tips may not all be relevant for
safaris in all parts of Africa; Africa is a large and diverse continent. They
should be useful for South Africa, particularly the Sabi Sand Reserve. And if
you happen to be headed to Ulusaba in February, this information might be just
about perfect.
Elephants were my favorite beasts we encountered.
Malaria
When I first discovered malaria is endemic in Sabi Sand, I freaked out a bit. Since malaria pills make about a third of users sick in one way or another, I wasn’t super excited about taking them. I wasn’t keen on experiencing Africa while also experiencing diarrhea, delusions, or frank psychosis. After doing some research, Jason and I decided to have malaria pills on hand but not take them until we could determine if we would find any mosquitos in Ulusaba. This was a prudent choice because neither Jason nor I got bitten even once. We only encountered mosquitos briefly while driving in areas near water, and a thick layer of repellant was enough to keep them from snacking. We didn’t see any at the lodge.
There are several malaria prophylaxes available. The best one to use varies based on the region you are visiting. For South Africa, the most-commonly recommended is Malarone. The CDC provides information on their website about country-specific malaria risks and medications.
While only you can decide if a malaria prescription makes
sense for you when heading into the bush, remember that malaria pills aren’t
100% effective in preventing the disease. So, regardless of whether you take medication,
you’ll want to thwart bites. Here are some safeguards you can take to keep from
being a mosquito’s meal:
Wear Insect Shield clothing. It’s permeated with a permanent and odorless insect repellant.
Wear pants. This will also keep your legs from getting burned while you are sitting in a vehicle for hours.
Treat your attire with permethrin before you leave on vacation. Permethrin spray stays on clothing for about six washes. As an added bonus, both Insect Shield and permethrin keep ticks away too, and you will likely encounter plenty of those.
Wear a hefty dose of insect repellant. This one should be obvious.
Sleep with mosquito netting around your bed. Many safari lodges, like Ulusaba, already have netting in place.
Vaccines
It is likely you will need to get some vaccines before
traveling to Africa. What vaccines are necessary depends on where you are
going. Our health department recommended Jason and I get MMR (measles, mumps,
and rubella) boosters and hepatitis A and typhoid vaccines. The CDC link above provides
vaccination suggestions for different travel destinations, along with its
information on malaria. Keep in mind, you will need to get your vaccines about
a month before your trip to guarantee full protection. Don’t be thinking you
can stop by the doctor’s office on the way to the airport.
There are countless fascinating creatures to see on safari beyond the Big Five.
Attire
Never before has what to wear on vacation preoccupied so
much thought as when we were planning our safari. If you don’t already have a
significant amount of greens and khakis in your wardrobe, you may want to
purchase some. Why khaki and green? You will blend into the background, and the
animals will think you are just another tree or termite hill, I guess. If you
don’t want to purchase foliage-colored frocks, don’t wear bright colors at the
very least. And a word of caution on blacks and dark blues, it is not a myth
that the flies in Africa are attracted to these hues. The flies are annoying.
Don’t wear blacks and deep blues.
We were at Ulusaba for three days, and I only used a portion
of the clothes I brought. You too will probably require less apparel than you
think. What would I recommend packing in way of safari attire?
Two pairs of pants, one of these should zip off into shorts
A pair of sandals, you will wear these more than tennis shoes
Two t-shirts or other short-sleeved shirts
A long-sleeved shirt, it can get cold on early and late drives even if it is blistering in the middle of the day
A jacket
A wide-brimmed hat
A pair of lightweight tennis shoes
Most lodges, including Ulusaba, provide free laundry
services. You don’t have to be stuck smelling like safari funk.
Unless you are going to be spending significant time walking around in the bush, hiking shoes are probably not a good use of luggage space or weight. For our hour-long bush walk, I just wore tennis shoes, and they worked fine.
While you could get rained on, you may or may not need to
pack a poncho. Ulusaba had the nicest ponchos I’ve ever used available for
guests. Check with your lodge before bringing a poncho or other potentially unnecessary
items.
Hyenas are interesting animals that don’t deserve their negative reputation.
Packing
I am an overly-prepared person. Being overly prepared for our safari while only carting limited pounds of luggage was difficult but obligatory. Flights into remote lodges are not aboard Boeing 707s or anything with more than one propeller usually. We lucked out with our Federal Airlines’ flight. Our 10-seat plane was fairly comfortable and had air conditioning. Apparently, this is about as posh as these little aircrafts get. Still, we had a weight limit on our bags. So, leave the bricks at home, or put them in your carryon.
Also note, on some of these flights, hard-sided and/or roller
luggage may not fit or even be allowed. Some charter flights only permit duffel
bags. We thought it better to just pack in duffel bags in case, a precaution
that wasn’t necessary for our particular flight. Still, better safe than
bagless. Make sure you know the weight and size restrictions of your flights.
Duffel bags are mostly fine to travel with. The main problem
with them is that they are too flexible to protect anything from getting
smashed. To remedy this, we bought plastic crayon boxes and used them to keep
sunscreen tubes from squirting everywhere and souvenirs from being crushed, a
solution that worked well.
Photography
I am a professional photographer, so these tips may not apply to selfie takers. I took over 2,600 pictures while in South Africa. The vast majority of these I shot on our drives with a telephoto lens (100-400mm). This is the lens you will likely use for 90% of drive pictures. If you don’t have one, they can be rented from many lodges with advance notice.
Dust is not a friend of camera equipment. I kept it out of
mine by covering my camera with a microfiber yoga towel while holding the SLR
on my lap for easy access. I also took two camera bodies and had my regular (24-105mm)
lens on the other body; I didn’t want to have to change lenses while out on a
drive.
Our vehicle had plenty of room for a smaller backpack to be
kept at our feet. We used it to carry a few extra things like a tripod. My tripod
didn’t get used much, but it proved handy for taking shots of our vehicle and
all its passengers.
Leopards can be hard to find, but we found them frequently.
Friends
If you have adventurous friends, take them on safari with
you. A group of chums is a highly useful item to pack on your expedition. Our
vehicle was filled with buddies, and it made the drives even more satisfying. Of
course, your safari could be an opportunity to make new friends.
Insects
The wilds of Africa are full of life, including bugs. You
will most likely consume fancy meals outside while on your safari. Beetles will
be sharing your table with you. Just accept that and things will go a lot
smoother for you.
Bathrooms
I feel this bears mentioning for the picky poopers out there.
You need not fear when traveling to South Africa. The bathrooms in that country
are tidier than the ones in the United States on average. Many of them even have
attendants who are engaged in constant cleaning.
What about bathrooms in the bush? The bad news is that there
are no bathrooms on the game drives. The good news is that you probably won’t
be eaten by an animal if you have to relieve yourself during a drive. The
tinklers in our group all urinated in safety, but I’d bring your own toilet
paper if I were you.
That concludes my safari advice. With a little preparation, your
expedition will likely be one of the most memorable experiences of your life.
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