I think it’s safe to say that Halloween is our favorite holiday. Jason and I love reveling in the spooky. We’ll hit all the prowls of the season, from the corn mazes to the haunted houses, if time permits. Unfortunately, time does not usually permit much. October is often a crazy month for us due to our Halloween party and so our explorations of the spine-chilling are limited but we do typically manage to squish in a couple of creepers.
Besides throwing a party here’s how we celebrated the scary this year:
First, we went to a scallywag soiree. The owner of the company that Jason works for puts this on every year. The soiree always has spectacular special effects, yummy catering, and, of course, a whole lot of swashbuckling. Among Jason’s coworkers this party is the stuff of legends. It’s rumored between them that the guy that designed the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland was commissioned to make the ghostly wreckages, firing cannons, and creepy crypts for this event. While that is quite possibly true, the props are of a quality that I could believe it, I will not present that information here as fact since hero-worshiping myths run rampant where this owner is concerned. But no matter who actually designed the decorations, they are certainly impressive.
Our pirate costumes were made by yours truly five or six years ago. They’ve gotten the most use out of any of our getups.
Jason and I had a great time at the soiree even though we spent a large part of the evening waiting in one line or another. The number of attendees was capped at 500 yet that’s still a lot of buccaneer hats and bellies to fit under one roof. But hey, when you’re with friends even waiting in line is a bash.
Adam and Jeremy Rowley work with Jason now so we had quite the bunch of scurvy blaggards to party with.
Jason and I also conspired to have our own private Halloween celebration after our party was out of the way. We decided that this would take the form of a dreadful dinner. Our plans to cook and relax at home, it turns out, fit perfectly with Jason’s plans to be sick. The morning after our party Jason’s exhaustion had turned into infection and he could barely talk. Poor guy. But there are few things that some eyeball taco salad and boo beverages can’t fix. Jason’s appetite for the eerie was not lessened by his illness and he ate more gruesome grub that night than I did. Eyeballs: they do a body good.
We had eyeball taco salad, boo beverages, and oozing chocolate cakes for our fiendish feast. I think I might need more practice eyeballing it.
And that brings me to our memorable visits to the cornfields and chainsaw guys…or not. We didn’t make it to any of the other places we love to get spooked out in. We had too many spider webs to hang I guess. Sad. But our limited free time still afforded a little fright, some wicked delight, and a Halloween that was reveled right.
October is a time of sacrifice and supplication for us. We sacrifice our fingertips to the pushpin gods and plead daily with the muses of dreadful décor just to entertainment you. Yes, Halloween for us means throwing our customary gigantic party and all the work that that entails. We put our lives on hold in order to deck out two floors of our house for this shindig. We start arranging prizes, ordering medals, and sewing costumes as early as August. It’s a massive job. What is wrong with us?
Jason and I dressed as Zuko and Katara from The Last Airbender this year. Unfortunately, I forgot to wear the betrothal necklace I spent a lot of effort making perfect. What a dummy.
Medusa was the centerpiece of our front room. We made sure she had plenty of snakes in her lair including a striking rattler.
This year marked our thirteenth time attempting this task. In honor of that woeful anniversary let me share some startling party stats that might have you screaming in disbelief or not screaming in incomprehension. Since the collection of decorations we use for our party varies slightly each time these stats aren’t necessarily exactly representative of every year but they should give you an idea of the magnitude of our undertaking:
The normal number of attending guests? 35-70. This year we had 66; that’s close to a record.
The adult to child ratio at our party? The number of kids in attendance annually increases at a rate proportional to the proliferation of offspring but right now about 38% of our guests are children.
The number of Rubbermaid storage bins used to stow our decorations? 24. We also have quite a few cumbersomely-large items that just won’t fit in containers.
Jason’s sister Carley walked away with the prize for best costume with her amazing Bender outfit.
The average amount of time Jason and I spend on party preparations? This year in the week before our bash alone we spent roughly 35 hours apiece arranging cobwebs, designing creepy scenes, creating a custom playlist, optimizing lighting, and removing our normal furnishings. Since there are two of us that means that 70 man-hours of labor went into those finishing touches. Keep in mind that that’s about a third of the complete time we consumed getting ready for this thing. So if I had to guess I’d say that we’re looking at something in the ballpark of over 200 hours in total prep. That does not include the time it takes to clean up and take down everything so add on another 50 hours, which makes 250, and you’re probably close to our entire time investment. Would you put that much effort into a gathering that only lasts a few hours? I think not. That’s what makes me and Jason so special and so stupid.
The last couple years the number of players has exceeded our stash of Bingo cards so sharing has been necessary.
Jason did a great job creating his Zuko scar with latex, tissue paper, and cream makeup only he put it on the wrong eye.
The number of strings of lights hung? 73. Yes, just putting up the lights for our party takes an enormous amount of time.
The number of ravens? 39. Jason’s a sucker for the crows.
The number of rats? 11. That’s a tragically small number. Who called the Pied Piper?
The Browns had great Toy Story costumes for which they won a prize.
The number of candlesticks? 39. Most of these are battery or outlet powered. Open flames, little kids, and Jeremy Rowley: that sounds like the makings of my own personal horror movie.
The number of pumpkins? 25. From the friendly to the sinister these are a Halloween necessity.
The number of skulls? 89. No, that is not a typo.
We were a little concerned that this hanging creeper might be a bit too much for the small tikes but I didn’t hear any screaming so I guess it was alright.
The number of tea lights? 28. Tea lights are essential to generating a spooky atmosphere while simultaneously creating focus on specific areas.
The number of eyeballs? 97. You were being watched.
The number of creepy cloths? 28, some of which are over 16 feet long. That amount does not include the yards and yards of cheesecloth we use every year. It would be too hard to tally up our cheesy bits because we use dozens of pieces in every room.
The final frontier of costuming.
The way I arranged the mantle this time might possibly be my favorite of any year.
The number of bats? 38. You can’t create creep without suspending some rodents.
The number of camouflage nets? 14. Jason loves these. I think he would form a swamp in our basement too if I’d let him.
The number of spiders? 52. You can never have too many spiders.
The number of batteries used? 88. It literally takes us half an hour to turn everything on before our party and even then there are always a couple lights or devices that get forgotten.
All three of the Rowley kids went home winners.
The number of creative geniuses behind this affair? 2. Okay, so we may not be creative geniuses but forming a unique atmosphere every year is quite the originality challenge. We never display our eerie decor the same way twice and that makes arranging everything significantly harder. My brain hurts just thinking about it. Jason and I are either ambitious or ludicrous…probably both. We do make one fantastic duo though. We keep working at the spookifying together until it’s done. We don’t get ornery with each other and we don’t slack off. I couldn’t make it through this madness without Jason and he definitely couldn’t do it without me. We are the best team ever!
Tonya and Abigail made a bewitching pair.
The festivities this year were another success. We had nearly a record number of attendees and a greater throng of kids than ever. My thanks to all of you that were part of that large mass of humanity. It’s rewarding to hear that so many of your children look forward to this event like they were waiting for Santa Clause.
Fran won a prize for her imaginative interpretation of a ladybug on a leaf.
And the costumes this time? Fantastic. I’m amazed at some of the things you people came up with. We had Totoro, Bloo, La Forge, and Bender present. The competition was pretty cutthroat so anyone that won should definitely take pride in their victory.
At our party Captain America finally reunited with his girlfriend Peggy Carter. I don’t think he was expecting her to have aged backwards though.
I’d like to shout out a big thank you to the kind individuals that aided in the maintenance of our sanity. Becca and Nicole assisted us during the party. Awesome! And Cameron, once again, came back after his kids were dropped off to help us sort out our kitchen disaster. Also awesome!
This mummy hand was one of the few new editions to our decor this year.
I’m not sure how my mom convinced my dad to don red yarn.
Owing partly to that help our event didn’t make us completely crazy but, days after the festivities, Jason and I are still totally exhausted. Yet we have a whole lot of take down and pack up left to do, which will probably take us weeks to finish. We survived another huge party production though and I’m pretty sure that some of you enjoyed yourselves at our shindig. So I’d say that at least a few of the ridiculous number of hours we spent on our gathering were justified. Two hundred and fifty though? Maybe not.
Disclaimer: If you have a dairy intolerance best to avoid this post; the cheese is sure to give you indigestion.
Jason and I have been married for over a decade and in that entire period we’ve never become blasé about each other or weary of being together. We are as wrapped up in each other as two people can be and still just as ecstatic about our life as a couple.
What’s the secret to our marital success? Jason is awesome but that’s no secret and while my fantastic man definitely makes our relationship much easier, our happiness is the result of many factors, one of which is surprises.
If I hadn't been in the middle of a workday myself, I would have cocooned Jason's entire car. But, since my time was limited, I just webbed the inside and left him a bucket of horror movies and zombie Legos.
I love surprising my husband: bringing treats to his work randomly, making him secret batches of cupcakes, assembling singers for a sudden birthday serenade, or plastering his office with superhero paraphernalia. Those little unexpected gestures remind him that he’s still the center of my universe plus they serve as a benevolent outlet for my mischievous tendencies. Earlier this month, with it being the Halloween season and all, I decided to web his car while he was at work and leave him some cocooned goodies. Perhaps this scheme was a little reminiscent of a junior high prank but his young mind seemed to appreciate it. He drove around the rest of the day with his webs intact and now, weeks later, he still refuses to let me remove the last remnants of his surprise. If only cobwebs were always that thrilling, I’d never have to dust again.
I couldn't just entangle the car's innards and not leave a calling card.
So if you haven’t done anything nice out of the blue for your husband or wife recently what gives? When you were dating your spouse you made that extra effort to ensure that your special someone felt special, right? If now that they are your partner in everything, and supposedly the person who matters more to you than anyone else in this world, you don’t still make that additional effort then shame on you. I will never stop spoiling Jason because he will never cease to be the best part of my life. And, fortunately, my surprise tactics seem to be great marital bliss boosters; you may want to try some similar techniques yourself. Either way, may the river of cheese flow as freely for you and yours.
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